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Snow!

Yes, The Netherlands has been given a snow treat as well. This tiny little village has been isolated from the outside world since last Thursday. Well, it's not that bad, with some preparations and low speed we managed to reach the supermarket yesterday. It seem this cold weather effects many of us, from what I hear or read from the world news. Besides the beautiful white panoramic views over the country I noticed that, due to the snow I tend to feel less sad about winter. Winterblues or so. Public transport has been cancelled for some days now. It's said we will have a white X-mas. The first since 1981!

Thank You Life

Just wanna let you know that things are doing well here.
All I want to share with you is that Life is good
Sometimes My Asperger's does cause pain
But tell me who is free from pain during life these days
I am blessed with my inner strength,
inspired by the beautiful people who love me
I love them too and I cherish the moments we can share life.
Life is good, life is what you make of it.

During this winter no plans to move elsewhere
Just doing my voluntary work
and realise how vulnerable all things and people are.

Autism is not a prison. It's an inner world full of possibilities.
You just have to see it.

Thank you Life, for these present days filled with harmony and love!

Time to love & learn about love and life

First of all let me tell you everyting is doing fine. Being used to be single, it is quite strange to be involved in a relationship now. He is very caring, sweet, smart, understanding and we have quite some common interests.
His life during the last 5 years was quite different than mine, but that is OK. We can learn a lot from one another. And besides that, love is now and to love one person is to life with his present life. I must learn to deal with typical relationship things. In a way he has more experience with this as he has been member of a family with children. We are doing fine and when things do not go that well, we talk it over. I can feel we enter another stage of relationship now. We talk more and more and we are more aware of the outside world now. At least I am, I can not speak for him naturally.

Today I have made him shy as a schoolboy by sending him flowers to his office...Yes, red roses....Afterwards he called me to say thank you. He was happy and touched by this sur…

Glossy Magazine Fotoshoot Part 2

FAQ 1: What is the magazine about?
The magazine is production of well known Dutch tv presenter and actress. I have never met her personally. ShWe is one of the leading TV personalities in The Netherlands. FAQ about my contribution to this magazine. The magazine is now Holland's best selling glossy magazines with 110.000 editions sold each month.

FAQ 2. What was the subject to talk about?
A. Loneliness.

FAQ 3. How did they find you?
A. A journalist had posted a request on a internet message forum. In a kind of way this message board subject of lonely people in The Netherlands was set up as a result of the general discussion after the Queens Day incident. A lonely man, who could have been your neighbour, was capable of doing such a horrible thing (he drove into a crowd of people and 8 people, including himself were killed)..The interview was given by phone and the fotoshoot was June, 26th in the city of Amsterdam.

FAQ 4. What is the interview about, what do you tell ?
A. It is about me li…

Update! Autism and Travel, Love.

Been away for a while. I apologize if you came here to find there had been no update. The Love thing is doing well, LOVE gives much energy and adds a golden touch at Life I think. He is so caring and sweet and has much to offer me.I slowly come down to earth and realise that normal life continues...


You might be interested to find out that- after such a long time of hesitation where and how to go on vacation- I finally choose Vienna, the city in which my grandmother was born, to be my destination. I booked a complete group bus tour with Half Board. The group counted about 40 other persons, mostly elderly couples. Yes, a group. Yes, away from home all by myself.

Vienna itself was wonderful to see, I will post some pictures here next week or so. Ofcourse the group thing was quite stressful, but things went fine. I decided to be open to some group members about my autism in order to explain my fear of traffic and crossing streets. (Well, I know there are many people with autism who hav…

It was fine...

The first date in years has resulted in a very nice meeting between two people. Yes, the magic click was there. We had plenty to talk of and afterwards there were another 1000 questions to ask him.

So, we decided to take things slow and become good friends...
After a week of intense emotions it feels good life returns to normal, however I must say my daily structure and inner rest has been disturbed in a strange way by all this.

No one will take away yesterdays experiences, whatever the future might bring.

Between butterflies and both feet on the ground. Yes, he knows about my ASD and understands. It was very sweet of him to tell me when he noticed I wanted to be on my own for a while at the end of the date. He told me he could see that on my face....That is good!

Meanwhile several projects are still there to be continued.
Yes, the mattter of moving into the real world again (away from the country side) and the question wheter I go back into education or not...

To be continued.

Yes, I am Dating again! HAPPY

Many many times I read and heard people talking about romance telling me that things will come upon your path as you do not expect them to do so. So, here I am now, telling you what the others already knew, Yes, the love thing "could happen" if you are not digging for love too hard.

Yes, I am dating again. This could be the first serious relationship after I got diagnosed some years ago. Things went very fast. Must tell you I do not know him in real life yet, but that will change this weekend. Execited but nervous. He is cute and understanding and has a life of his own and does understand what Asperger is like. In a way I just like taking part in this romance thing but on the other hand I can fully imagine living my life just the way it was before.

So...here is a video to say it all for now...

September Monday

Yes, life has returned to normal. Although there are of extra activities this week, this may end up as the normal schedule. Hope you are all doing fine. Recently my thirties ended and now I am just a beginner at 40 years old. That is strange. Feels like leaving behind the young and restless days. Over the last weeks there have been many nice activities with friends, family and so on.

Today I have to find out how to deal with an amount of extra free time without having made a schedule so far how to fill those extra hours. It could be tricky, but with help of some list those hours can be filled without feeling lost or having a meltdown.

Doing fine so far, try to start blogging again. Wishing you a pleasant day!
Take care

Knock knock : it's me again...

Hi Everyone,
Hope you are all doing ok. I know some members of this hub have hard times now, I follow you through the mailinglist. Keep hope, things will be better!

Never thought I would be so busy. Lots of things to attend, lots of things to be experienced and many things to do in- and outside my home.

This weekend I pampered myself to a "hammam" visit, it's a typical Eastern/Moslim bath house. I wanted to be clean before I hit my 40th B-day next Sunday.
Mmmm this all feels very well, my body was very pleased to get rid of all those dirty things. It's a good way to clean your mind as well.

Now, I must go to bed. I will continue to blog here, but there first must be a kind of rest in my life again.

Take care,
Oant sjen (see you later= Frysian language)
Aspie Bird

O yes, my depression seems to have disappeared due to new medicine. However, autism sill sucks sometimes I can enjoy the good moments of life now better. Hug for you all!

Summer:Time to enjoy

In order not to loose my daily structure I have been working all weeks this summer. While people were away the silence of my office was wonderful. It's good to see all those people in the office again however.

Some ups and downs came upon my way, running up 'that' hill again took some time, but we made it again.

Lots of festivities to celebrate, this summer is ok.

If you might be anxious about my weight: I have never been fatter in my whole life. Actually I was a little proud when I reached my first kilogramme that is just above the BMI standard. That made my day. I finally felt like all the other woman.
Just amazing afer having been skinny for over 38 years.

Hope you are doing ok, your comments are very positive, thank you!

TTYL

Hello Again!

Hi There, Are you having a good summer time?
Lots of things happened in the past weeks, most of them were pleasant ones.

Hope you are doing ok. I am doing fine, no plans for holiday adventures so far.

Because of the summer time this blog will be updated twice week during from today till August 15th. Eh...do not know which days ...just check the site, will you? Thank you!

Enjoy life!

Summer Moves On

Summer Time brings the joy of strawberries from my own garden, long evenings, and ofcourse Summer Holiday. One does not have to travel far to be able to enjoy Summer at it's best. Surrounded by nature and not too far away from culture, library, friends summer life is good. And what about just staying home and do some gardening? This year many Dutch people choose to spend their vacation in our own country because of the economic situation. This week it was announced that 1:10 people is expected to become jobless in 2010 in The Netherlands!! I feel lucky to have a regular income because of my Disabilty Insurance Act payment. Despite the negative news about the economic crisis, I realise that we live however in a rich (First) world. We do not have to worry about a daily struggle to get food, this week it was announced that more people than ever worldwide are said to suffer from lack of food.

Since my last blogpost lots of things happened. And many more things come up.
I will take a br…

Blogging Slow Life

Oops, this morning I realised that I had forgotten something yesterday...uh...well blogging... That means the line of daily blogs from January 1st till December 31st, 2009 has been interrupted...Ah.., kind of pity, but not a major disaster.

I might take a blogging time out these days, or my blogging will continue but on a low profile. A writers block, garden special interest and summertime are the reasons I write less about autism.

Will back soon, in a few days or so. After all, blogging is a kind of daily routine now...

Autism & Food: Anorexia & Autism

There seems to be a link between Autism and Anorexia. Does not surprise me. The problems with eating, the low self esteem etc.

A GROWING appreciation of the links between anorexia and autism spectrum disorders has uncovered new opportunities for treating the eating disorder.

Mental health professionals are now attempting to train the brains of people with anorexia to be more flexible and to see the big picture as well as fine details. In doing so, they hope patients will be less inclined to obsess about body weight and calories and be better equipped to overcome their eating disorder in the long term, as well as gaining weight more immediately.

Last month, the international Academy for Eating Disorders published a paper calling for eating disorders (EDs) such as anorexia and bulimia to receive the same degree of healthcare as other biologically based mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) (International Journal of Eating Disorders…

Empathy

The strangest thing about empathy is that I still try to find the clue to solve this empathy mystery. It's just like finding the answer of a ever lasting riddle. In daily conversations I have noticed that lack of empathy is something I hate and which makes me very insecure. But please do not ask me to describe the empathy thing looks or sounds like, I can not tell you what it tastes like, it's just a grey hole of a missing brain link.

Today it was a lazy Sunday although I did some serious gardening from 09.30 till noon. The aftmernoon was filled with an unexpected visitor and that was ok, although it is a mirror having someone around because it makes clear that my social talk skills are not the way I want them to be. The empathy thing makes me missing lots of things I guess.

When the house was clean enough I decided to do some painting again. That was a long long time ago. An intense yellow feeling came over me.
Made 4 works with lots of colors. With the radio on I felt quite hap…

D-Day: Thank you Americans and Britons!

Thank you again for fighting our freedom! As today D-Day marked 65 years of remembrance I watched a news special about the service held close to the D-Day beaches in France. The speech President Obama held was very impressive and personal.
It was good to see Prince Charles was there as well.

Thank you America and Great Briton for fighting for our freedom. So many of your people have paid for our freedom with their lives!

Did not do that much today, my autism blogging inspiration might come back later after some serious cleaning has been done in both my gardens and my home. Cleaning gives room for new idea's they say.

Have a good weekend. Been to the library, 4 books to read! Can't wait to start!

Autism Reality

It is often said people with autism live in their own world.
I guess that is partly true. Autism is my shadow.

Sometimes life hurts. Counting my blessings. Sunshine, love, affection, kindness, blue sky, new horizons, new contacts, freedom of speech etc. etc.

Do not know what to tell you right now about my own world these moments.
It's dark in there. Been away but just these minutes the darkness is back.

Autism is not about what we can not do. It is about what we can and what we are.
We are good people. Pure. Each day is a blessing, even with autism.

Wishing you all goodnight. This weekend I might find inspiration for something interesting to write about.

Elections: Vote for Singles!

As one of the first countries, Holland has today the chance to vote for a new European Parlement. There are many issues that count for me, although The European Parlement seems to be far far away. Well that is an understatement for all political organizations I guess.

Many people with autism are singles. By choice or not the single life can sometimes be a lonely experience. Singles are often discriminated, e.g. the supplement one has to pay for a single room. It is good there are organisations like the Dutch C.I.S.A. (Centre for Individual and Society. Last year C.I.S.A. celebrated her 20th anniversary with a conference. One of the speakers that day was Mr.Alexander Pechtold, political leader of D'(emocrats) 66, one of the countries fast growing political parties. C.I.S.A. and D'66 have found one another, D'66 comes up for the rights of singles, in The Netherlands and promised to do the same in European Parlement.

I voted today for Mrs. Sophie in 't Veld, the D'66 Eu…

Commercial

Today my job coach and I, we are going to the presentation of the commercial in which I take part. I am curious to see what the producer made of it.
When possible I will show the commercial here.

Clouds passing by

Life is a journey. Each day can be the start of a new discovery. While gardening in my front garden I remove the grass which has grown between the tiles the freedom of mind once again comes alive. It feels like my inner source has something to tell me.
Being statisfied with the result (the path to my front door has never looked better since I live here) I stand and watch my garden. The birds are singing in the sky. The summer has begun. Clouds in the sky are passing by without disturbing the sunshine warmth.

This is life. In the silence of a summer evening I realise I might already have all the equipment needed for the journey through life.

It's all there it is just a matter of removing things that might block your way.
When I enter the house I almost immediately close the curtains. Goodbye World, although it is not dark yet, I close the connection with the outside world this way.

My inner source comes alive when sitting down the sofa afterwards. Wearing my pyjama I look around and l…

Autism & Food: They do not fit anymore

Due to my diet to gain we weight, I have reached a normal weight now.
The days I was skinny seem to be over. One of the things that comes with extra kilogrammes is the fact that many clothes do not fit anymore. It is frustrating trying a pair of trousers on and to discover half way that there is no way you fit into it. My bottom and hips and belly are bigger then ever! Proud of it, but somethimes grrr. I just want to wear my clothes. I just love them, those old clothes. Now I had to buy new clothes.

Well, anyway I am happy over all with my extra weight. Another difference has been solved, I am just like anyone else with my average weight now.

I have promised you to write about Anorexia and Autism because there seem to be many common things. But sorry, the weather is too good to stay long time online doing research and so. So next week, when everything is back to normal, I write about Anorexia and Autism, ok?

Have a good day,
Aspie Bird

Unexpected Treasures

While travelling throughout the country today I had several unexpected conversations. It was fun. I might be more open to people. Feels good.
Feels good, interaction with other people! I cherish these moments like treasures.

Have fun, enjoy life.

Weather is super here! Warm and sunny!

Fun! Street Theatre Festival

There was much to enjoy at the Street Theatre Festival in the Frisian Capital Leeuwarden today. One of the acts was Les Goulus (The Horsemen) We saw the same act as on the video. I had a great day out with a good friend of mine. My street phobia has become less, or life was just better today. Even life with autism can be good.
Just watch this video, it's so funny hahahaha
Have fun!

Questions of Life

We all need one another. It is not true the people with autism live on another planet. Well, sometimes it feels that way. But if you put on your coat and enter the life offline and talk to people you will see that the world is full of unspoken words and many stories waiting to be told. People need People. It is as simple as that. Sometimes I wonder if people with autism do not make their life more complicated being so much time online. Let's be honest: computers and the internet itself has broaden the lives of people with autism. However, the other side is that we become strangers in a world which is willing to cherish us people with autism.

Sometimes life hurts. Sometimes society creates so much mess, misunderstanding, loneliness, pain and sadness we are not aware of because it can only be seen in those darkest hours of the night, when most of us sleep.

Open you mind, open your door and step towards the other. You only get one life, each day is a unique day itself. Believe in yours…

Autism & Work: Writers block, Autism in China

BLOGPOST FOR WEDNESDAY MAY 27TH, 2009

It could be a writers block, just a small one I guess, but I have not idea whatshowever to write about Autism & Work today. There are many things to write about, and it's an interesting subject, but it just does not come out...

I leave you with a video about Autism in China.


Thanks for understanding,
Take care
Aspie Bird

Autism and Identity

One of the most important and difficult issues in life is to find out what your identity is. It is not only a thing which lasts during puberty. If you have autism finding your way in life may be seen as an extra puzzle throughout life. In my opinion one's autism identity does change throughout the stages of life too. This is due to the stages of elderdom and the way our inner child grows.

If you are aware others find you different this can be painful. Among others you may often be surrounded by misunderstanding. Against this negative aspect of being different there is also a strong positive point. Your autism identity is very personal and unique just like every person with autism is. It can be feeled differently by people who are not officially diagnosed with autism, recently diagnosed with autism. The way you accept your autism and the way you handle life also creates your own autism identity.

People with autism are used to go our own way. This may make it easier for us to sepera…

Update

This monday no blogpost on Autism and Food due to personal circumstances. Nothing too serious, sometimes one needs to think and talk. Questions of life as a professional said today. Will blog next week about Anorexia and Autism, there seems to be a link somewhere. Thanks for visiting my weblog!

For now, I wish you a pleasant day or night.
Take care

Sunday

Sunday. End of the week, start of a new week. A day to be lazy. As temperatures are high this weekend in The Netherlands, there is much to enjoy. Just being lazy in the garden, do some gardening. It feels like even walking down the street is more relaxed because of the summer heat.

Here are some pictures of yesterday's sunset. Nothing much to tell you now, sometimes rest is best.

Life

Just as life is. Today the weather was perfect. High temperatures. Sunny sky along the country. Watched a beautiful sunset while daydreaming in the train home.

Sometimes you just have to enjoy life and life with autism too.

Goodnight!
Take care

Thougts about Loneliness

You'll never walk alone. There is always someone with you. Walking with you through the path of life. This can be another person, but it can also be yourself.

If you spend much time alone (being e.g. a person with autism) loneliness can put your self esteem down. Don't let this happen. Remember loneliness is a mental thing and the gate to the world outside is always open. Sometimes it is just hard to see the way out, but a small step offline can be the beginning of a bigger adventure in real life.

After the Queensday incident in Holland last month a discussion about loneliness has been released. Several television programmes try to break through the silence about loneliness. Many people wrote letters about their loneliness, few dare to be filmed.

Autism life can be more lonely than others, due to the lack of communciations skills. I mean our autistic communications skills are often judged being different. Remember that loneliness is a common thing in our society. So the differenc…

Videoblog: 3 x Kim Peek -Rain Man

Video number 1/5


Number 2/5



Number 3/5:


I could not find video's number 4 and 5 on You Tube today. Will upload them next Thursday.

Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded to more video material about Kim Peek related to the movie Rain Man (1988).

Autism & Employment: Self Advocacy

Been away all day, just got home. Have been throughout the country by rail. Beautiful. Young animals all over the place, sunny weather.

Recently I joined a group associated with the PAS, the Autistic Adults Society in The Netherlands. Next month I'll attend my first meeting. Self Advocacy is so important. Looking forward to it.

Thats it for today.

Autism & Grief

Tell me if I am wrong, but in my humble opinion many NT people might judgde the emotions of people with autism (secretly) as "being second hand". It is like a bit of " ahhh, poor auti, he of she has emotions too, we should take their emotions serious too..." Some NT people do play this game with people with autism. They do not want to disembarras themselves and do not want to be rude but their attitude is often a play which is easy to see through. Know what I mean? In my opinion many (high funtioning) people with autism do have the skills to express their emotions like sadness, joy, anger, shame, love and many more. We can feel those emotions, but the way we show them could be different. What do you think of the way people with autism handle grief?

These days once more the emotion of grief has touched my life. (I am sad because of what happened at the Queensday attack, an acquintance has died after his battle with cancer, I think a lot about my late brother and …

Autism and Food: Breakfast

Breakfast, my favourite meal of the day. Time to start the engine again which keeps your body going. It's always a pleasure for me. It's a new start of the day. For a logn time porridge/oat has been my favourite thing to eat in the morning. These days there are breakfasts to drink too. Very handy if you have not that much time. Making a sandwich in the morning is too much work, the chewing process is not at it's best at breakfast. Usually the time around breakfast is the worst time of the day. Being very sensitive my mood has to switch from -7 to a hmmm life is not too bad +3. This might take some time and tears to get myself going. Do you know this too? Probably the most famous Breakfast is Breakfast at Tiffany's. Sorry I do not know much to write about autism and food toay. My mind is occupied with thoughts about life and death, about guilt and shame, about good and bad.

Sorry!

Sensitive Silent Sunday

So much emotions came up during the last couple of weeks, time for a relaxing Sunday.
Hehe. The battery needs to be reloaded. Time for a Sensitive and Silent Sunday. Yesterday was emotional but it was good to have been there at the memorial service. Finding a way to carry on in dark times is a individual thing. We can work it out, I am sure. Have a good sunday!

Just leave it that way

Sometimes life forces you to go on and not to look back. The past can not be changed. Today a memorial service is being held for someone I have known. He was always kind. Just a kind human being who did no one else harm.

The papers in Holland more and more publish stories about the man who caused the Queensday drama. It is very sad. The more you read about him, the more it seems he was caught in a mental prison. It is always a good thing to think about those people speaking of someone involved in a crime. Like you and me, everything we once tell one another could be used for everything, even years later for a 'objective'newspaper article. Can you consider someone telling his story anonymously as a close friend? Does it help the family? This man has driven 7 people to dead!! He was a killer. Where were all those 'friends' during the last months of his life? I try to leave the Queensday thing behind me, although it is difficult because it makes come back feelings of grief…

Autism in the Books

Countless times I have wondered about this, but I just can not get it. Can you tell me what the profit is of those books about autism making statements about what someone with autism should be capable of and the things that are likely to to be reached by autists?

One example is a piece of text I read in a book written by a so called autism professional. When speaking about a marriage of two people with autism, it was highlighted that the conversation between those two happy autists existed of sharing thoughts on computer programming software. What use is it to tell the world that those two people are just so happy sharing stories about computer programming software together? I think this is cumiliating. Many NT couples talk the same way and even about more nonsens things. Why does this have to be highlighted? I think this is discriminating. What do people want to tell us by telling us this story?

And what about all those lists of remarks of the do's and the don't s of people wi…

Autism & Work: Poor People, Dropouts

A Dutch newspaper yesterday published an article about “working poor people”. For many people money is not the most important thing in their job. About shattered dreams, respect and meaningful ways to fill your life.

In Holland there seems to be a forgotten group of 1.5 million people . They work very hard in a very low paid regular job and earn just a minimum loan. An example of those working poor people is a Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam based cleaner . He was interviewed for the article and told he is sometimes just ignored as a human being during his job. He works 55 hours in 5 days, has two jobs and is often up to 16 hours a day from home. He is divorced and takes care of three home living children.

For many people interviewed for the newspaper article the thing they want to earn most is not money but respect and appreciation. During the past 15 years the general goal in the Netherlands was: Everyone who can work, MUST work . According to this idea people will make promotion in t…

You Shameless People!

Shame on you if you let the dark site of autism win! ;-)) Enjoy life! Here is a reason why being diagnosed and labeled with a disorder like autism has advantages!

Imagine you walking in the crowd. Among all those anonymous faces and hidden personalities passing by will be others with disabilties. People who drink too much, addicts from A till Z, objects called human beings who have abused people and animals in all kinds of ways, people with bad temper, wrong genes, narcists, liars or just other nasty habits.

Well, what do you know about those others walking by? Impairments are not always directly visible. Like autism many disorders often only can be experienced when dealing more with people. There are at least 50 others who should see a psychiatrist when you are in a crowd of 100, I think. So why bother about your autism? Autism is an easy to blame thing, and remember autism is 'hot'.

Most people who judge about others because they want to hide their own shortcomings, e.g. Holl…

Autism & Food: Love

Food. For years dinner time was a crime for me. My head too full of things I had to sit and eat. Meanwhile the social things were happening around me. Often I disliked food. During the years food has become more and more a positive thing for me. I guess this has become this way because I could eat all by myself (by growing up and living on my own). Today food and sensory overload are no longer a combination in my thoughts. And now, I see the beauty of food. It took me years and lots of blood, sweat and tears. These days the view of food no longer causes a blockade in my mind, but it makes me imagine what it might taste like.

This weekend a dear friend gave me some old cooking books. The picture on top of this blogpost is just one of the pictures inside. Gosh, we are so lucky to have plenty of food for us!

Mothersday:'Autism' Mums

This weekend has been a very social weekend. Visited two ladies, each of them with her own story. Both were seniors. Because of mothers day, my friend nr 2. and I went to see the Keukenhof. We had a gorgeous day !!! The weather was sunny, temperatures were great and it was sooo nice to see all those flowerbeds!

Thoughts about autism-mothers
Having a child with autism is such a challenge for a mum. The child needs so much extra care and such an intensive support mum often can feel like a battery discharging. The battery of mum’s energy simply can not be empty, because there is no one else who can take over her job as mother.

I deeply respect my own mum J. who has raised me up to the woman I am now. It is so important for the mothers of today’s young children to get a diagnose. This may not only give the child the care it needs but gives mum also the opportunity to get in touch with other women struggling with probably similar problems. After the diagnosis, mum does not always have to sta…

What is the sense of autism??

Yes, I know God or whoever created the world has made many different types of people. Still I wonder what the sense is of being autistic? I mean if you have an impairment you can not walk, your brain might work normally though. I mean the kind of impairment does not have to intend you can not communicate in a proper way with the world.

What is the sense of being on a grey island of miscommunication, desperation and loneliness? Life is often happy for me, but can someone tell me what the sense of autism is? There are so many happy things that can happen between people if communication just works out fine. What did God intend to prove when he made autism?
What was his aim to make us so vulnerable, so lost in our world and being totally mistunderstood by the rest of the world? I try to to sound very sorry for myself, but it is just a thing which bothers me? What is the sense of our impairment, that is indeed a pervasive disorder. The man who can not walk has a wheelchair and support when …

Small steps....things to do alone

All big things in life start with a small step. For people with autism it might take more steps to meet other people on the road. Do not loose faith, things will be okay!
I always try to see the bright side of people. There are so many people, and each of them has a story of their own. And many many people have disorders or carry unexpected (mental) luggage with them. Just a matter of seeing their true colours.

The weekend may bring several opportunities to reach the world. I will visit two friends. Looking forward to hear their stories. Plenty of news to talk about.

For those of you looking being alone and looking for things to do, here is a list.
I have found a nice website too on things to do alone (fun!) Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded.

Enjoy Life! Take care.

1. Read portions of the Holy Bible, especially the Psalms.
2. Stay in contact with your family members or friends by visiting or phone.
3. Make a tasty treat and take it to a neighbor.
4. Send out birthday cards…

Yes! Self Advocacy Time Rules

If you think about it in a positive way, each comment on the Apeldoorn accident which links the killer to autism, can be seen as a chance to tell people about what autism really is. It's only the question if they want to hear it. No, they will not.

I found this comment somewhere on a blog, it shocks me:

A lady called Marieke comments that she works with adults with autism and normal intelligence and that she, from what she has read in the article about the killer/driver she can recognize the black and white thinking adults have and tells that she is absolutely sure the driver is an autist while autists have the tendency to hold their emotions hidden and all of a sudden an autist can explode!!

WTF is this??? She reads an article in the newspaper, she has not spoken to his family members nor has she taken any tests herself and this madam knows for sure someone is autist?!!!

Well, I have just posted a comment telling how nice it sounded that she seems to be a professional working with…

Autism & Employment: To Work or Not to Work

Found this interesting article about work at www.neurodiversity.com.
Roger N.Meyer is a wellknown author. Diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 55, he seems to know where he is talking about.

Enjoy! Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded.

Sorry, I might have a writers block or something like it.
Head is full with things. Busy in real life.

Tuesday May 5.5.2009: Apeldoorn Today

This is an slightly off topic blogpost. Sorry, can not imagine one autism related thing in this post. There will be a regular autism-related blogpost tomorrow again, as I am always impressed by the variety of topics when I see all the main page of this Hub, and I think a day without a serious autism related blogpost is a waisted day. There is so much to be written about autism. Went to visit the city of Apeldoorn. Why? First reason, there is a royal palace nearby which is a museum. There are fabulous gardens and a big park one can walk through pretending to be a royal princess or more... Second reason is because of the assault on Queensday. The place where it all happens is just meters away from the museum's entrance. In the surrounding of the 'place of crime' there are two spots to remember people: 1. The monument which stopped the car. Here are few papers left. This is considered to be the place to remember the killer. At the other side of the road there is a huge flower…

Autism & Food: Sweet Things in Life!

After some days of hard thinking, serious brainwork, it's time for something Light and Yummie... Gonzo inspired me with her kitchen stuff:
To start the day with:









Coffee break:









On bread:
















Any time of the day, no words, just a * sigh *:














Here are some sweet plastic things in life! :

This is so cool, I found this last Thursday somewhere left on the queensday fleemarket. Unbelievable. People do throw away far too many things. It makes me sad. I just love this picture. Shapes and that blue...ohhhh











BTW this was dinner tonight:






I feel so lucky to have both a dishwasher (mini) and an always friedly dad with two right hands. He made the cupboard underneath the dishwasher himself!! Dad I am soo proud of you!!




Loners & Loneliness

Walking through the crowded streets of Amsterdam today I did not feel lonely. My companion was very friendly and we had some good talks. It was good to see one another again. The sunshine and the tree blossom made the picturesque scene complete. We went to see a very interesting exhibition on photography in the Museum Marseille at the Keizersgracht. Afterwards we enjoyed watching many people passing by while having a drink at the Spui. This was a wonderful afternoon. Just got home, back at the countryside again. Green meadows instead of car parkings. Silence makes me forget about the sounds of traffic (and worries inside my head about crossing the street).

Loners and Loneliness. Both words are often related to autism. I think there are no people with autism who have not felt lonely sometime during their life. Loner is the one of the words used by the world to describe autists. The world seems to have a bitter sweet relationship with the term loners. Loners: strange, leftovers, old fa…

How to reach Outcasts in Society

Today the Queen and some of her family members unexpectetly visited the injured people in hospital. More and more questionsmarks rise about the Queens security. But, as Holland is just a small country, and Queens Day unites, things like this: could happen but we never expected this on a national holiday.

Of course there have been stories published by papers in which 'someone who knew the killer for a long time and who had been told the killer would do something to himself when...' Stories like that have their own meaning.

The family of the driver is said to be devestated. Of course.
The killer has been described as being a kind of loner, did not participate in the society events in the town where he lived. He lost his job several months, had no relationship and recently had to go move house because he could not affort the rent anymore. The investigation of his body has shown no signs of alcohol, some remains of cannabis was found, but this can have been used some weeks ago.

The …

We Won! Self Advocacy Rules!

One of the internet autism related groups noticed an rather odd online 'advertisement' in which yesterday's Apeldoorn killer (a man drove deliberately into the public with the goal to hurt the Queen) was linked to autism. Yes, autism in the spotlights once again. So, with many others I sent an e-mail to the website owners and another mail to the author himself in which I showed my anger to such ignorance and discriminating publications.

Well, the website sent a general response to my complaint....and the advertisement was removed this evening!

Once again this is a true succes for people with autism. The killer was described as being a silent, intelligent man who lived a very withdrawn life. There are many of such people who do not have autism.

The driver of the car yesterday, the killer, died himself shortly before 3 o clock during last night. There are now 7 people dead and about 10 injured.

The whole country still is in shock.

The video here might contain shocking images. Be…

Queens Day Drama! Shock in Holland!

People were released like objects. Here the result. The man died yesterday.



See the shock on royal faces:


As I wrote yesterday our Queen was expected to visit the City of Apeldoorn to take part in public celebrations. The party was soon over, as on April 30, 2009, around 11:50 in the morning, just before the bus with the royal family made its last turn towards the palace of Het Loo in Apeldoorn, a black older model Suzuki Swift crashed through the crowd and slammed into a monument, reportedly just missing (15 meters) the open-topped bus carrying the royal family. Seven people were reported dead, four suffered major injuries, and five people were slightly wounded. Two of the wounded are no longer in hospital. The car driver died in hospital that night. The incident is considered to be a attack on the Queen and her family as the driver has told the police just moments after the crash before his injuries worsened, he deliberately attempted to hurt/kill the Queen and her family. There is a …

Queens Day!

Today we celebrate the birthday of former Queen Juliana, mother of our present Queen Beatrix. 30th of April is a national holiday. This year the Queen will visit the city of Apeldoorn, where her sister Princess Margriet lives. As it is exactly 100 years ago the late Queen Juliana was born, this day is rather special.

From Wikipedia (text and picture):
Koninginnedag ( pronunciation (help·info)) or Queen's Day is a national holiday in the Netherlands, the Netherlands Antilles, and Aruba on 30 April or on 29 April if the 30th is a Sunday. Queen's Day celebrates the birthday of the Queen of the Netherlands and is supposed to be a day of national unity and "togetherness" (Dutch: saamhorigheid). The tradition started on 31 August 1885 on the birthday of Princess Wilhelmina, later Queen Wilhelmina. Since 1949, after the ascension of Queen Juliana, Queen's Day is Queen Juliana's birthday on 30 April. Although Queen Beatrix's birthday is on 31 January, she official…

Autism & Employment: Disability & Job Search

Lets face it. Finding a job with autism or other disabilities is not easy. However it may be more difficult for you to find a job having an impairment, there will be a job for you somewhere, I am sure. Its just a matter of finding the right people, see golden chances and open you mind for new career opportunities.

How to find the right people? Job search is everywhere. Networking can be done almost everywhere where you meet other people. It's a kind of game. A network exists of all the people in your enviroment, every single person knows people who might know something you can benefit of finding a job. Open your mind for new career chances.

Remember, there is a job for you somewhere. It is important to find out what you really want, what your interests really are and what is best for your general wellbeing. You may find great support (as I did using this book) using the fantastic book (worldwide best selling book on job hunt and career changes) titled 'What color is your parach…

About Empathy

This is the only life we get
and it is filled with autism

well, there are worse conditions
if you think like that you may bring up 'the poor kids in Africa'

the most hateful thing about autism is the lack of empathy I think.
How I wished to be able to show maximum consideration towards others.
To be without the ever lasting feelings analyser.

Lack of empathy may be called less empathy
because it is there but does not show in the regular, accepted way

It srongly depends on who I am with if my feelings come up straight away
God, I hate most about autism the part of having less empathy for others. This makes social situations so hard.

Because there is just nothing in between. It is just that grey, dull, stone in the place where feelings should be there. It's so frustrating.
I hate it!

Anyway, I am doing ok today!

Aspie Bird at the Filmset: Forgotten Food

Just so much to see, I forgot about food today. Had taken plenty of beverages with me, but while I was in the studio, I just could not eat properly because of the stress. That seems to happen quite often. That is not just an autism thing. On the way back home I had lunch. Now I have to choose between having some kind of late dinner or going to bed early. Think the food is gonna win.

There were lots of things I thought about this afternoon. Nice people around there. The recordings themselves lasted for about 1 minute. No close up. No talking to do.

I was filmed in the archive, next to this (see picture :

Had to sort out papers and to them into the box. Haha pretending that empty box was full LOL It turned out pretty well. It took just 1 cut!

Afterwards they filmed me being a waitress. Just walking coming and going with a tray with an full bottle of (red) wine, 2 glasses and a can Fanta on it. That was more difficult. Smiling, looking around, walking coming and going all at the same time.…

Aspie Bird on Screen!

Yes Yes, in my humble opinion (ahum ;-)) I knew this day had to come.... (now you take a deep breath, have a deep sigh and smile?!): Aspie Bird will appear on screen.
(Do not wish to sound very arrogant, but something inside my mind tells me that I will be much more on publicity things in future...well of course after my book has been published)

My job coach has chosen me to be one of the twenty something participants for the job agencies new commercial. Lucky me ;-)))

This is an unique chance to show my capabilities to interest potential workgivers.
The agency is specialised in job seeking things for people with autism. No offend but many people with autism might give a somewhat withdrawn first time impression.

However my verbal abilities are pretty well, my voice will not be used for this commercial. A voice over will instead talk about me, they told me it will be something like: this is X, looking for a X job. Hmmm, some written instructions for the voice over people what to tell abou…