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Showing posts from October, 2006

Loss and Healing, New Start, Rest

Last week has been busy. Did lots of things at home, in order to leave this home properly behind me. Things are doing well. Might have been too busy, the dietitian noticed another weight loss this week!! After having gained 6.6 kilogrammes within approx. 5 months, I now seem to have lost 3 kilogrammes in 2 months! It will be OK in the end, I know. Just have to find the right way to be busy and to eat!

The struggle in my mind about my autism acceptance continues. There is no day without tears. Tears seem to be everywhere, wherever I go. This is part of the mourning process about the person I will never be again. Well, it is not that bad, tears seem to have healing powers. This is part of life I guess. Everyone has his own problems to deal with I guess.

Today I have the first appointment with my new therapists. Do not know what to expect. Made some questions for them. It is good I get to know them before I move. The gap will be less wide perhaps.

Nothing more to say here. I am grateful for…

Therapists Compliments and Changes

My therapist gave me compliments this week. It was good to hear I am on the right way.

I like to be cooperative. E.g. therapists give me the knowledge about my hidden self: those things about yourself on what you might not be able to see or feel all by yourself. Somethings those things hurt, sometimes they make me smile.

Next week I will meet my future therapists for the first time! The time will come I have to change therapists. I knew this for a long time, but I do not like it. Things will be OK in the end I guess.

There has been a life without therapists, will there be a time without therapists in future?

Boxes, Walks, Autism and Sexuality

More and more removal boxes do fill my living room. I do not mind putting things in boxes. Never thought I had that many things! UHHH, Does one needs all that stuff???
Lots of things to be done. This weekend I enjoyed the beautiful and sunny countryside and made long walks. Saturday we walked with a group of autistic people, on Sunday I went for a walk alone. The mood swings hold on. Part of life I guess this removal stress.

This week I will attend a conference on Autism and Sexuality in the same region as I will move to. Last weeks meeting on the same subject was a perfect preparation for this conference organized by professionals. A perfect opportunity to get to know new people. I get a lot of help by my parents and I am grateful for that! In order to prepare myself I will sleep early tonight.

Quality of Life, Autism Bloggers Pride!

Been busy thinking about all kinds of things concerning autism. I read somewhere on the Internet today that the quality of life of autistic people may be lower comparing other psychical diseases.
The big questions about the future keep on playing in my head. Will write more about those things later on. For now Goodnight and Take care!

Did you know I am so proud to be a part of www.autism-hub.co.uk? I think the weblog posts of especially several autism hub members can be considered as being pieces of (word) art. Every time I read the weblogs here I am impressed by the quality!

Inspiration, Removal, Inner Source, Creativity

Removal Things:
47 days left before the official move to my new home.
I now have decided to move all at once, despite my intense capacitance against changes. It will l probably cause more chaos and stress to move things in two steps. When everything is packed in boxes my home will look empty anyway. The removers have visited my old home and they left 50 removal boxes. Every day I try to fill 5 boxes. Room by room will be done. My family helps me wherever they can. That is wonderful. Never thought fears could be so strong. Since last week I have two homes now. On Tuesday I got the keys of my new home. The two homes thing will be temporary.

My new home has a front and a back garden. Now I only have a roof terrace, to share with my neighbours. Both homes are quite equally in size. My hometown now has 6000 inhabitants, in my new hometown there are only 350 citizens.There are no shops in my new hometown, I now live in the shopping area. While packing my belongings I think about what to take w…

Ups and downs, questions about life

With many ups and downs my life continues. Travelled throughout the country. I just love to watch people being busy on their way. Today I made my way to my future hometown. Tomorrow I will sign the rental contract. I will receive the keys of my new home too.
Nervous. As my depression seems to continue I now wonder in what kind of way an autist can be useful for this society we live in. I myself do not feel myself being useful.....
Some serious brainwork left to do I guess..

The clouds in the sky were great today. Enjoyed the birds too.