Summer Time brings the joy of strawberries from my own garden, long evenings, and ofcourse Summer Holiday. One does not have to travel far to be able to enjoy Summer at it's best. Surrounded by nature and not too far away from culture, library, friends summer life is good. And what about just staying home and do some gardening? This year many Dutch people choose to spend their vacation in our own country because of the economic situation. This week it was announced that 1:10 people is expected to become jobless in 2010 in The Netherlands!! I feel lucky to have a regular income because of my Disabilty Insurance Act payment. Despite the negative news about the economic crisis, I realise that we live however in a rich (First) world. We do not have to worry about a daily struggle to get food, this week it was announced that more people than ever worldwide are said to suffer from lack of food.
Since my last blogpost lots of things happened. And many more things come up.
I will take a break from blogging daily from June 19th till July 21st, 2009.
When there is need to write, I'll write, but not on a daily base.
After this summer break, the blog will continue.
Wishing you all a perfect Summer!
Oops, this morning I realised that I had forgotten something yesterday...uh...well blogging... That means the line of daily blogs from January 1st till December 31st, 2009 has been interrupted...Ah.., kind of pity, but not a major disaster.
I might take a blogging time out these days, or my blogging will continue but on a low profile. A writers block, garden special interest and summertime are the reasons I write less about autism.
Will back soon, in a few days or so. After all, blogging is a kind of daily routine now...
The peonies from my parent's garden make my day! Each day is a new adventure to see how they grow and shine all over the room. They smell delicious too!
Here are some pictures of my garden. Gardening is for me a perfect way to exercise, make my head empty and to enjoy nature.
Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded to a peonies specialist.
Enjoy!
There seems to be a link between Autism and Anorexia. Does not surprise me. The problems with eating, the low self esteem etc.
A GROWING appreciation of the links between anorexia and autism spectrum disorders has uncovered new opportunities for treating the eating disorder.
Mental health professionals are now attempting to train the brains of people with anorexia to be more flexible and to see the big picture as well as fine details. In doing so, they hope patients will be less inclined to obsess about body weight and calories and be better equipped to overcome their eating disorder in the long term, as well as gaining weight more immediately.
Last month, the international Academy for Eating Disorders published a paper calling for eating disorders (EDs) such as anorexia and bulimia to receive the same degree of healthcare as other biologically based mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) (International Journal of Eating Disorders, DOI: 10.1002/eat.20589). Other groups are even calling for anorexia to be placed in the same diagnostic category as autism spectrum disorders (ASD).
The main reason for this change is a growing understanding of the biological basis of EDs. Twin studies suggest that between 50 and 83 per cent of EDs have a genetic basis. Now, evidence suggests that people with anorexia have cognitive traits associated with ASD. "Eating disorders and autism spectrum disorders are obviously not the same thing, but they do have some things in common," says Janet Treasure of the Institute of Psychiatry in London.
Anorexia and autism are obviously not the same thing, but they have some things in common
Treasure had already discovered that anorexia was associated with extreme attention to detail and a rigid, inflexible style of thinking - traits also associated with ASD.
To investigate further, her team used neuropsychological tests to measure central coherence, or the ability to see the big picture as well as the finer details, in 42 women with anorexia and 42 without it. Women with anorexia had weaker central coherence, with a bias towards local, rather than global processing (International Journal of Eating Disorders, vol 41, p 143).
In a separate study, Treasure and her colleagues found that 45 per cent of people with anorexia or bulimia have problems "set-shifting", or modifying their behaviour in response to changing goals, compared to just 10 per cent of healthy people.
This type of focused thinking can be a beneficial skill, but when thinking becomes obsessive, for example, it can be destructive, says Treasure, who presented her results at a meeting of the British Psychological Society in Brighton, earlier this month.
In another series of studies, Treasure's team, together with Kate Tchanturia, also of the Institute of Psychiatry, assessed empathy, systemising ability, and other traits on the autistic spectrum in 22 women with anorexia and 45 without it. They found that although those with the eating disorder didn't differ from healthy women in terms of empathising or systemising, they did show elevated scores on other autistic traits like poorer social skills, and greater attention to detail (British Journal of Clinical Psychology, DOI: 10.1348/014466507x272475).
Simon Baron-Cohen of the Autism Research Centre in Cambridge, UK, is also measuring whether adolescents with anorexia score higher on autistic traits than healthy people, as he suspects that some of them may actually have undiagnosed Asperger's syndrome. "We have always known that Asperger's syndrome was diagnosed more often in males," he says. "The new question is whether it takes a different form in females, and can account for at least a subgroup of those who are diagnosed with anorexia."
If it does, this could have important implications for the way that anorexia is treated. "As well as treating the 'eating disorder' the clinician and the patient might [also] focus on social skills," says Baron-Cohen, although he adds that weight gain would remain a key target.
Tchanturia is already conducting a study in around 30 people with anorexia, who are having cognitive remediation therapy (CRT) to encourage flexible and bigger-picture thinking. For example, patients are given an exercise in which they have to summarise several pages of text, to practice seeing the gist rather than the details. "We're putting the focus on how people think, rather than what people think," says Tchanturia.
The technique has already had some success - in a pilot study of 19 patients with anorexia, 17 patients said they felt it helped them to think more flexibly - although it's too early to say whether it will help their anorexia in the long-term. "They found the treatment helpful in reducing their perfectionist tendencies and it helped them to see things more holistically," Tchanturia says (International Journal of Eating Disorders, DOI: 10.1002/eat.20536).
There are quite some interesting studies on this subject. Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded to another interesting article about Anorexia and Autism published in The Times, 2007.
The strangest thing about empathy is that I still try to find the clue to solve this empathy mystery. It's just like finding the answer of a ever lasting riddle. In daily conversations I have noticed that lack of empathy is something I hate and which makes me very insecure. But please do not ask me to describe the empathy thing looks or sounds like, I can not tell you what it tastes like, it's just a grey hole of a missing brain link.
Today it was a lazy Sunday although I did some serious gardening from 09.30 till noon. The aftmernoon was filled with an unexpected visitor and that was ok, although it is a mirror having someone around because it makes clear that my social talk skills are not the way I want them to be. The empathy thing makes me missing lots of things I guess.
When the house was clean enough I decided to do some painting again. That was a long long time ago. An intense yellow feeling came over me.
Made 4 works with lots of colors. With the radio on I felt quite happy being in my own art studio.
While painting I got back the contact with my inner source. It was so good to do, although not everything I made was perfect I believe it is more important to create to let your thoughts find a way to express themselves. After the moment a shape has reached the paper a relief takes place. This was what bothered me. Now it has been translated into paint. A great way to express myself and flee me from autism worries.
Thank you again for fighting our freedom! As today D-Day marked 65 years of remembrance I watched a news special about the service held close to the D-Day beaches in France. The speech President Obama held was very impressive and personal.
It was good to see Prince Charles was there as well.
Thank you America and Great Briton for fighting for our freedom. So many of your people have paid for our freedom with their lives!
Did not do that much today, my autism blogging inspiration might come back later after some serious cleaning has been done in both my gardens and my home. Cleaning gives room for new idea's they say.
Have a good weekend. Been to the library, 4 books to read! Can't wait to start!
It is often said people with autism live in their own world.
I guess that is partly true. Autism is my shadow.
Sometimes life hurts. Counting my blessings. Sunshine, love, affection, kindness, blue sky, new horizons, new contacts, freedom of speech etc. etc.
Do not know what to tell you right now about my own world these moments.
It's dark in there. Been away but just these minutes the darkness is back.
Autism is not about what we can not do. It is about what we can and what we are.
We are good people. Pure. Each day is a blessing, even with autism.
Wishing you all goodnight. This weekend I might find inspiration for something interesting to write about.
As one of the first countries, Holland has today the chance to vote for a new European Parlement. There are many issues that count for me, although The European Parlement seems to be far far away. Well that is an understatement for all political organizations I guess.
Many people with autism are singles. By choice or not the single life can sometimes be a lonely experience. Singles are often discriminated, e.g. the supplement one has to pay for a single room. It is good there are organisations like the Dutch C.I.S.A. (Centre for Individual and Society. Last year C.I.S.A. celebrated her 20th anniversary with a conference. One of the speakers that day was Mr.Alexander Pechtold, political leader of D'(emocrats) 66, one of the countries fast growing political parties. C.I.S.A. and D'66 have found one another, D'66 comes up for the rights of singles, in The Netherlands and promised to do the same in European Parlement.
I voted today for Mrs. Sophie in 't Veld, the D'66 European candidate.
To all European voters: please think about the singles!
Today my job coach and I, we are going to the presentation of the commercial in which I take part. I am curious to see what the producer made of it.
When possible I will show the commercial here.
Life is a journey. Each day can be the start of a new discovery. While gardening in my front garden I remove the grass which has grown between the tiles the freedom of mind once again comes alive. It feels like my inner source has something to tell me.
Being statisfied with the result (the path to my front door has never looked better since I live here) I stand and watch my garden. The birds are singing in the sky. The summer has begun. Clouds in the sky are passing by without disturbing the sunshine warmth.
This is life. In the silence of a summer evening I realise I might already have all the equipment needed for the journey through life.
It's all there it is just a matter of removing things that might block your way.
When I enter the house I almost immediately close the curtains. Goodbye World, although it is not dark yet, I close the connection with the outside world this way.
My inner source comes alive when sitting down the sofa afterwards. Wearing my pyjama I look around and let the thougths of life come alive. Life is good, and what does not belong to me or does not contribute to my growth, I just throw it away over my shoulder. Like clouds passing by. Autism is not that bad I guess, it makes your inner source create beautiful flowers for the future.
Due to my diet to gain we weight, I have reached a normal weight now.
The days I was skinny seem to be over. One of the things that comes with extra kilogrammes is the fact that many clothes do not fit anymore. It is frustrating trying a pair of trousers on and to discover half way that there is no way you fit into it. My bottom and hips and belly are bigger then ever! Proud of it, but somethimes grrr. I just want to wear my clothes. I just love them, those old clothes. Now I had to buy new clothes.
Well, anyway I am happy over all with my extra weight. Another difference has been solved, I am just like anyone else with my average weight now.
I have promised you to write about Anorexia and Autism because there seem to be many common things. But sorry, the weather is too good to stay long time online doing research and so. So next week, when everything is back to normal, I write about Anorexia and Autism, ok?
Have a good day,
Aspie Bird
While travelling throughout the country today I had several unexpected conversations. It was fun. I might be more open to people. Feels good.
Feels good, interaction with other people! I cherish these moments like treasures.
Have fun, enjoy life.
Weather is super here! Warm and sunny!
There was much to enjoy at the Street Theatre Festival in the Frisian Capital Leeuwarden today. One of the acts was Les Goulus (The Horsemen) We saw the same act as on the video. I had a great day out with a good friend of mine. My street phobia has become less, or life was just better today. Even life with autism can be good.
Just watch this video, it's so funny hahahaha
Have fun!
We all need one another. It is not true the people with autism live on another planet. Well, sometimes it feels that way. But if you put on your coat and enter the life offline and talk to people you will see that the world is full of unspoken words and many stories waiting to be told. People need People. It is as simple as that. Sometimes I wonder if people with autism do not make their life more complicated being so much time online. Let's be honest: computers and the internet itself has broaden the lives of people with autism. However, the other side is that we become strangers in a world which is willing to cherish us people with autism.
Sometimes life hurts. Sometimes society creates so much mess, misunderstanding, loneliness, pain and sadness we are not aware of because it can only be seen in those darkest hours of the night, when most of us sleep.
Open you mind, open your door and step towards the other. You only get one life, each day is a unique day itself. Believe in yourself like you believe in others.
And if darkness surrounds you, please know that everyone carries their own worries and sadness. Talk, write, create something that can others see how dark life is for you. Please notice your footsteps in life. Without a trace we can not find you to comfort you in those dark hours.
It has been nearly a month ago since the Queenday drama. No official report has been published yet. The incident first of all leaves me with questions and questions. It is just one of those things that makes life just hurt myself.
Take care
BLOGPOST FOR WEDNESDAY MAY 27TH, 2009
It could be a writers block, just a small one I guess, but I have not idea whatshowever to write about Autism & Work today. There are many things to write about, and it's an interesting subject, but it just does not come out...
I leave you with a video about Autism in China.
Thanks for understanding,
Take care
Aspie Bird
One of the most important and difficult issues in life is to find out what your identity is. It is not only a thing which lasts during puberty. If you have autism finding your way in life may be seen as an extra puzzle throughout life. In my opinion one's autism identity does change throughout the stages of life too. This is due to the stages of elderdom and the way our inner child grows.
If you are aware others find you different this can be painful. Among others you may often be surrounded by misunderstanding. Against this negative aspect of being different there is also a strong positive point. Your autism identity is very personal and unique just like every person with autism is. It can be feeled differently by people who are not officially diagnosed with autism, recently diagnosed with autism. The way you accept your autism and the way you handle life also creates your own autism identity.
People with autism are used to go our own way. This may make it easier for us to seperate from others and their opinions on how to deal with general issues. This source of own independent power people with autism carry with them kan be an important source of self esteem if you look for your own (autism) identity.
Your own autism identity is a pure thing. This is you, pure and unspoiled you. Be proud of it and try to make the best of it, let your inner autism child be heard and treat it well. You are worth it.
This monday no blogpost on Autism and Food due to personal circumstances. Nothing too serious, sometimes one needs to think and talk. Questions of life as a professional said today. Will blog next week about Anorexia and Autism, there seems to be a link somewhere. Thanks for visiting my weblog!
For now, I wish you a pleasant day or night.
Take care
Sunday. End of the week, start of a new week. A day to be lazy. As temperatures are high this weekend in The Netherlands, there is much to enjoy. Just being lazy in the garden, do some gardening. It feels like even walking down the street is more relaxed because of the summer heat.
Here are some pictures of yesterday's sunset. Nothing much to tell you now, sometimes rest is best.
Just as life is. Today the weather was perfect. High temperatures. Sunny sky along the country. Watched a beautiful sunset while daydreaming in the train home.
Sometimes you just have to enjoy life and life with autism too.
Goodnight!
Take care
You'll never walk alone. There is always someone with you. Walking with you through the path of life. This can be another person, but it can also be yourself.
If you spend much time alone (being e.g. a person with autism) loneliness can put your self esteem down. Don't let this happen. Remember loneliness is a mental thing and the gate to the world outside is always open. Sometimes it is just hard to see the way out, but a small step offline can be the beginning of a bigger adventure in real life.
After the Queensday incident in Holland last month a discussion about loneliness has been released. Several television programmes try to break through the silence about loneliness. Many people wrote letters about their loneliness, few dare to be filmed.
Autism life can be more lonely than others, due to the lack of communciations skills. I mean our autistic communications skills are often judged being different. Remember that loneliness is a common thing in our society. So the difference between the NT people and autism loneliness does not have to be that big.
Video number 1/5
Number 2/5
Number 3/5:
I could not find video's number 4 and 5 on You Tube today. Will upload them next Thursday.
Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded to more video material about Kim Peek related to the movie Rain Man (1988).
Been away all day, just got home. Have been throughout the country by rail. Beautiful. Young animals all over the place, sunny weather.
Recently I joined a group associated with the PAS, the Autistic Adults Society in The Netherlands. Next month I'll attend my first meeting. Self Advocacy is so important. Looking forward to it.
Thats it for today.
Tell me if I am wrong, but in my humble opinion many NT people might judgde the emotions of people with autism (secretly) as "being second hand". It is like a bit of " ahhh, poor auti, he of she has emotions too, we should take their emotions serious too..." Some NT people do play this game with people with autism. They do not want to disembarras themselves and do not want to be rude but their attitude is often a play which is easy to see through. Know what I mean? In my opinion many (high funtioning) people with autism do have the skills to express their emotions like sadness, joy, anger, shame, love and many more. We can feel those emotions, but the way we show them could be different. What do you think of the way people with autism handle grief?
These days once more the emotion of grief has touched my life. (I am sad because of what happened at the Queensday attack, an acquintance has died after his battle with cancer, I think a lot about my late brother and I think a lot about the parents of the man who drove 7 people to death and was killed himself, his parents live in a hell right now) All of this hurts. I know grief is a very personal thing and I feel grief does not always have to be negative. It's a way to express things. And when the tears have gone, something sweet remains. A loving memory of a idea to do (in future) to celebrate life.
In times of sadness tears make thoughts and pain visible. It's is a tough emotion, but the results are healing. Perhaps I mourn more intens than others because I do it so detailled.
Although talking with friends and family about grief shows their attitude towards mourning is not that different than mine, I must admit that I feel like my emotions are kind of "second hand". That is because how desperate I want myself to be able to handle and feel emotions just like NT people, I always have the feeling the handling of my emotions is different. Might have something to do with the fact that emotions sometimes only come up after having analysed things first. I hate this, I would like to offer people my instant empathy and sympathy and in times of grief comfort. Do you understand what I mean??
So grief does not have to be different for people with autism I think. It might just take some more time to let the emotions out.
And what about this:
I think if someone dies unexpectely that person is sad about his death as well, he will miss his loved on on earth. So it's not only the pain of we missing them. Actually a sad thought that we are not able to comfort a lost one on the pain he or she has missing us.
Take care!
Breakfast, my favourite meal of the day. Time to start the engine again which keeps your body going. It's always a pleasure for me. It's a new start of the day. For a logn time porridge/oat has been my favourite thing to eat in the morning. These days there are breakfasts to drink too. Very handy if you have not that much time. Making a sandwich in the morning is too much work, the chewing process is not at it's best at breakfast. Usually the time around breakfast is the worst time of the day. Being very sensitive my mood has to switch from -7 to a hmmm life is not too bad +3. This might take some time and tears to get myself going. Do you know this too? Probably the most famous Breakfast is Breakfast at Tiffany's. Sorry I do not know much to write about autism and food toay. My mind is occupied with thoughts about life and death, about guilt and shame, about good and bad.
Sorry!
So much emotions came up during the last couple of weeks, time for a relaxing Sunday.
Hehe. The battery needs to be reloaded. Time for a Sensitive and Silent Sunday. Yesterday was emotional but it was good to have been there at the memorial service. Finding a way to carry on in dark times is a individual thing. We can work it out, I am sure. Have a good sunday!
Sometimes life forces you to go on and not to look back. The past can not be changed. Today a memorial service is being held for someone I have known. He was always kind. Just a kind human being who did no one else harm.
The papers in Holland more and more publish stories about the man who caused the Queensday drama. It is very sad. The more you read about him, the more it seems he was caught in a mental prison. It is always a good thing to think about those people speaking of someone involved in a crime. Like you and me, everything we once tell one another could be used for everything, even years later for a 'objective'newspaper article. Can you consider someone telling his story anonymously as a close friend? Does it help the family? This man has driven 7 people to dead!! He was a killer. Where were all those 'friends' during the last months of his life? I try to leave the Queensday thing behind me, although it is difficult because it makes come back feelings of grief I had some years ago.
The man who will be remembered today was a warm, nice family man. Just a nice man.
Too bad that cancer took his life so young at the age of 74. May he R.I.P.
Sometimes life goes on, leave things just the way it is. We can not understand everything, and there is no need to know everthing about everybody, is it?
Death is a strange thing.
Countless times I have wondered about this, but I just can not get it. Can you tell me what the profit is of those books about autism making statements about what someone with autism should be capable of and the things that are likely to to be reached by autists?
One example is a piece of text I read in a book written by a so called autism professional. When speaking about a marriage of two people with autism, it was highlighted that the conversation between those two happy autists existed of sharing thoughts on computer programming software. What use is it to tell the world that those two people are just so happy sharing stories about computer programming software together? I think this is cumiliating. Many NT couples talk the same way and even about more nonsens things. Why does this have to be highlighted? I think this is discriminating. What do people want to tell us by telling us this story?
And what about all those lists of remarks of the do's and the don't s of people with autism. 'Most people with autism are likely to stay alone all their life, because they can not find a partner for life due to their lack of social skills'. This is wrong I guess. Writing this only hightlights the differences between the rest of the world and people with autism. It is also very hurtful for all people with autism to be jugded that way.
Most of these nonsens are written by professionals, happily married or at least in a relationship and earning lots of money. Let they mind their own business.
I do not need another label on my forehead like the Zoo: please do not feed them.
For those of you who have not read this gorgeous book about a boy with autism yet written by Mark Haddon yet, here is a YouTube Review:
Enjoy!
The book is a must read for all people who want to have a laugh when reading about autism.
A Dutch newspaper yesterday published an article about “working poor people”. For many people money is not the most important thing in their job. About shattered dreams, respect and meaningful ways to fill your life.
In Holland there seems to be a forgotten group of 1.5 million people . They work very hard in a very low paid regular job and earn just a minimum loan. An example of those working poor people is a Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam based cleaner . He was interviewed for the article and told he is sometimes just ignored as a human being during his job. He works 55 hours in 5 days, has two jobs and is often up to 16 hours a day from home. He is divorced and takes care of three home living children.
For many people interviewed for the newspaper article the thing they want to earn most is not money but respect and appreciation. During the past 15 years the general goal in the Netherlands was: Everyone who can work, MUST work . According to this idea people will make promotion in their jobs. This did not happen, a group of people did not make career and stayed in the jobs they do for years and years. The dream to give everybody a regular job with job opportunities shattered.
Autism and other disabilities often lead people to the lower fields of job society. We often stand on the lowest ladder. If we get a reglar job, it is unlikely we will have the opportunity to make career due to our autism features. Should we consider ourselves to belong to the working poor people?
What do you think is a better life? Working to the max and earning few money? Or the life of doing voluntary work and get a disability act payment ?
Recently I read a comment telling society now exists of 3 groups of people: The insiders, the outsiders and the dropouts. The insiders consists of the present elite with their power, tools and have the monopoly of well paid jobs in the government and industry. The outsiders consists of the people who benefit and facilitate the insiders. The dropouts are those who not belong to the insiders or the outsiders en who will never be a part of these groups. If an insider looses his job, or a part of his money, he is still a rich man. If an outsiders looses his job he will soon turn into a drop out.
Will we, people with disabilities be dropouts forever? Considering we belong to the group of employes who are likely to stay in the lower part of the job market, this is a thing what comes up? Hmm. I refuse to stay drop out. Wel lthat is the dream I have. I had a job, got a burn out, now I am a drop out I guess. Is there a way back to become outsider again? Or are we forced to stay Autsider forever?? What do you think?
And what about the dream to make your childs future a better one?
Many parents have the goal to make life for their children better than the life they have had themselves.
Shame on you if you let the dark site of autism win! ;-)) Enjoy life! Here is a reason why being diagnosed and labeled with a disorder like autism has advantages!
Imagine you walking in the crowd. Among all those anonymous faces and hidden personalities passing by will be others with disabilties. People who drink too much, addicts from A till Z, objects called human beings who have abused people and animals in all kinds of ways, people with bad temper, wrong genes, narcists, liars or just other nasty habits.
Well, what do you know about those others walking by? Impairments are not always directly visible. Like autism many disorders often only can be experienced when dealing more with people. There are at least 50 others who should see a psychiatrist when you are in a crowd of 100, I think. So why bother about your autism? Autism is an easy to blame thing, and remember autism is 'hot'.
Most people who judge about others because they want to hide their own shortcomings, e.g. Holland is said to have at least 16 millions of psychologists(in 2008 we had 16.755.270 inhabitants) and many of them have not a clue where they are talking about. It is a mass addiction playing 'Miss Derrick Marple Holmes".
Today I realised that it was almost like I got a psychiatrist "for free extra" with my "7-UP sponsored" autism diagnosis. It might sound strange, but due to the regular contact with mental health care the step to ask professionals for help when I need them, has become much smaller.
In my opinion this shameless asking for professional help is one of the advantages of my diagnosis. I must admit that this might be easier for me due to background of our family. My parents both worked in the workfield of health care.
I do not envy people who have never dared to set the first step to get professional help. They keep on struggling with their daily life. Some shop online posting their problems on all kinds of internet fora due to their fear to be seen (once) in a psychologists waiting room. I have people in my surrounding who desperately need help but they refuse to take the first step.
So be happy, due to the rollercoaster circus your autism diagnosis has lead you through you probably can handle shame better than others. Shameless people, that is what I want people with autism to be. Just be pure and yourself.
Lets go. Enjoy life. The sun is shining, time flies and we are just here to love and to be loved. Make the most of your gifted life. Do not let autism be a word written on your forehead. The world is full of hidden secrets. Just go with the flow. Keep it simple and do not forget to laugh about life.
I know life with autism is not always easy. I know sometimes it seems someone with autism can feel so desperate, lonely and tired. But trust me, things will be ok.
Acceptance has to grow from seed to flower. You should be shameless people!! Remember, shameless!
Here are some pictures of flower pots in my front garden. Enjoy!
Food. For years dinner time was a crime for me. My head too full of things I had to sit and eat. Meanwhile the social things were happening around me. Often I disliked food. During the years food has become more and more a positive thing for me. I guess this has become this way because I could eat all by myself (by growing up and living on my own). Today food and sensory overload are no longer a combination in my thoughts. And now, I see the beauty of food. It took me years and lots of blood, sweat and tears. These days the view of food no longer causes a blockade in my mind, but it makes me imagine what it might taste like.
This weekend a dear friend gave me some old cooking books. The picture on top of this blogpost is just one of the pictures inside. Gosh, we are so lucky to have plenty of food for us!
This weekend has been a very social weekend. Visited two ladies, each of them with her own story. Both were seniors. Because of mothers day, my friend nr 2. and I went to see the Keukenhof. We had a gorgeous day !!! The weather was sunny, temperatures were great and it was sooo nice to see all those flowerbeds!
Thoughts about autism-mothers
Having a child with autism is such a challenge for a mum. The child needs so much extra care and such an intensive support mum often can feel like a battery discharging. The battery of mum’s energy simply can not be empty, because there is no one else who can take over her job as mother.
I deeply respect my own mum J. who has raised me up to the woman I am now. It is so important for the mothers of today’s young children to get a diagnose. This may not only give the child the care it needs but gives mum also the opportunity to get in touch with other women struggling with probably similar problems. After the diagnosis, mum does not always have to stand alone in her job as caregiver/mum/support and this can relief her life task a bit.
Being mum of someone with autism is a life long job. Kids grow up, mums grow older. There might be a day mum will not be alive anymore. It is very important that the care needed by someone with autism can be continued. In my own case I have the plan to write a A-Z life book in which my mum (with my dads help) can write down her opinions about the care needed for me/or the way she handles to communicate with me.
This might sound a bit like I need a lot of care. That’s not true. But it seems a good idea to write down the tricks which have become life habits during raising me up.
My mummy, You are the sweetest and the best mum I could ever have!
I am so proud of you!
Yes, I know God or whoever created the world has made many different types of people. Still I wonder what the sense is of being autistic? I mean if you have an impairment you can not walk, your brain might work normally though. I mean the kind of impairment does not have to intend you can not communicate in a proper way with the world.
What is the sense of being on a grey island of miscommunication, desperation and loneliness? Life is often happy for me, but can someone tell me what the sense of autism is? There are so many happy things that can happen between people if communication just works out fine. What did God intend to prove when he made autism?
What was his aim to make us so vulnerable, so lost in our world and being totally mistunderstood by the rest of the world? I try to to sound very sorry for myself, but it is just a thing which bothers me? What is the sense of our impairment, that is indeed a pervasive disorder. The man who can not walk has a wheelchair and support when needed. Not being able to walk, he can take part in normal communications though ( not in case he is too frustrated about his impairment). Why does autism has to be so big in life? It so broad. And it's hidden, which can be a advantage too?
Just some thoughts. The sense and the benefits of autism. I simply can not give it a right place in my thoughts.
All big things in life start with a small step. For people with autism it might take more steps to meet other people on the road. Do not loose faith, things will be okay!
I always try to see the bright side of people. There are so many people, and each of them has a story of their own. And many many people have disorders or carry unexpected (mental) luggage with them. Just a matter of seeing their true colours.
The weekend may bring several opportunities to reach the world. I will visit two friends. Looking forward to hear their stories. Plenty of news to talk about.
For those of you looking being alone and looking for things to do, here is a list.
I have found a nice website too on things to do alone (fun!) Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded.
Enjoy Life! Take care.
1. Read portions of the Holy Bible, especially the Psalms.
2. Stay in contact with your family members or friends by visiting or phone.
3. Make a tasty treat and take it to a neighbor.
4. Send out birthday cards to those who have birthdays.
5. Read a good book.
6. Plan a short trip and invite a friend along.
7. Attend church or Bible Study classes.
8. Join a club of your choice that meets once a week.
9. Join the YMCA or the YWCA. Join an exercise class.
10. Paint a room or have it painted a bright cheery color.
11. Open up the blinds and let the sunshine in daily.
12. Buy yourself a new outfit or piece of clothing.
13. Attend a concert with a friend or group of friends.
14. Attend a sports activity locally.
15. Volunteer to help at a school.
16. Volunteer at an area agency.
17. Visit those whom you know are sick or incapacitated.
18. If single, join an Internet dating club.
19. Help with fundraisers for a local charity.
20. Take piano or organ lessons.
21. Attend pottery classes.
22. Begin a diary or journal.
23. Offer your services to working parents who need their children supervised after school.
24. Plant and care for a garden.
25. Enjoy a good video of your choice.
26. Sign up for a college course. In many communities people over 60 can attend community colleges free.
27. Plan to go on a cruise.
28. Run for a local political office in your community.
29. Help candidates whom you support run for an office.
30. Become a poll worker. These make money assisting whenever voting takes place.
31. Become a hospital volunteer.
32. During the summer pick berries and other ripe fruit.
33. During the fall pick grapes, pumpkins, squash, apples, beans and other produce in season.
34. Operate your own small day care business within your home.
35. Attend auctions (furniture, land, cars, estate) of all kinds.
36. Become a mentor.
37. Take pictures of sunsets, sunrises, and things in nature. Enter into photography contests.
38. Buy a house pet (dog, cat, bird, fish).
39. Take a class in floral arrangements.
40. Have a booth at the fair.
41. Try out new recipes and invite your friends over to sample them.
42. Find Internet clubs of interest to join.
43. Watch a good television program.
44. Plan a surprise party for someone in your family, or for a friend.
45. Go for a walk along the beach with a friend.
46. Go for a walk in the park with a friend or group of friend.
47. Clean out a garage and have a garage sale.
48. Write an editorial for your local newspaper, expressing your views on a certain issue.
49. Attend city council meetings or school board meetings to keep abreast.
50. Sing in a choir.
51. If you play an instrument, play in a band or orchestra.
52. Attend a play.
53. Attend a civic function or fundraiser.
54. Paint on canvas.
55. Paint using watercolors.
56. Do pencil or ink sketches.
57. Write your life's story or record it so another person can write it.
58. Write a book (fiction or non-fiction).
59. Help a child with homework.
60. Learn about wise investing.
61. Go on a shopping spree. Go out of town sometimes.
62. Rearrange your furniture in your house to create a new atmosphere.
63. Try stamp coin or stamp collecting.
64. Try collecting books by an author of your choice.
65. Collect musical compositions by a composer of your choice.
66. With your camcorder, record important events with your family and friends.
67. Take a class teaching you how to use computers and the Internet.
68. Learn how to blog.
69. Get a part-time job which you will enjoy.
70. Dine out as often as you can with friends.
71. Attend outdoor activities within your area.
72. Plan to go see at least one Wonder of the World.
73. Go to a city or state where you've never been before.
74. Attend seminars to help you know how to better manage your assets and time.
75. Attend health fairs and seminars.
76. Crochet, knit, or embroider.
77. Sculpt.
78. Begin an art collection.
79. Visit the local museums.
80. Change your hairstyle or manner of dress to create a new you.
81. Enjoy a sauna, message or spa experience.
82. Go fishing or hiking.
83. Attend picnics and family reunion events.
84. Sponsor an orphan abroad or in another country.
85. Play board games with friends.
86. Attend church brunches and social events.
87. Take up a foreign language, and learn to speak it as fluently as possible.
88. Become a pen pal to a person in another country.
89. Become a freelance writer. Write about important events in your community.
90. Write poetry.
91. Compose songs and write original compositions.
92. Create new recipes.
93. Remodel your home. Try some do-it-yourself projects.
94. Form a community block club with regular meetings.
95. Make quilts for the homeless shelters.
96. Make Christmas ornaments for the homeless shelter.
97. Assist at the local soup kitchen.
98. Help give out food baskets throughout the year.
99. Be a friend to those who have no friends.
100. Pray: Prayer changes things. Remember to pray for those you love as well as those who need your prayers
Thanks to www.socyberty.com
If you think about it in a positive way, each comment on the Apeldoorn accident which links the killer to autism, can be seen as a chance to tell people about what autism really is. It's only the question if they want to hear it. No, they will not.
I found this comment somewhere on a blog, it shocks me:
A lady called Marieke comments that she works with adults with autism and normal intelligence and that she, from what she has read in the article about the killer/driver she can recognize the black and white thinking adults have and tells that she is absolutely sure the driver is an autist while autists have the tendency to hold their emotions hidden and all of a sudden an autist can explode!!
WTF is this??? She reads an article in the newspaper, she has not spoken to his family members nor has she taken any tests herself and this madam knows for sure someone is autist?!!!
Well, I have just posted a comment telling how nice it sounded that she seems to be a professional working with adult autists and how shocked I am to read her blunt comments. I have also asked if the people she works with know about her published comment and how they would feel about it.
Yesterday the driver of the car has been buried. Today his parents told 1 news agency that they have just as much questions as anyone else. They had the impression things were getting better in their sons life. It is just so sad!
Karst T. was buried in a reed coffin. Mozes was left at the riverside in a reed basket in order to be found by someone who could give him a better life. Tomorrow the national memorial service will take place. During the first public event the Queen attended after the assault, she has been awarded by applause. She was touched.
Found this interesting article about work at www.neurodiversity.com.
Roger N.Meyer is a wellknown author. Diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 55, he seems to know where he is talking about.
Enjoy! Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded.
Sorry, I might have a writers block or something like it.
Head is full with things. Busy in real life.
This is an slightly off topic blogpost. Sorry, can not imagine one autism related thing in this post. There will be a regular autism-related blogpost tomorrow again, as I am always impressed by the variety of topics when I see all the main page of this Hub, and I think a day without a serious autism related blogpost is a waisted day. There is so much to be written about autism. Went to visit the city of Apeldoorn. Why? First reason, there is a royal palace nearby which is a museum. There are fabulous gardens and a big park one can walk through pretending to be a royal princess or more... Second reason is because of the assault on Queensday. The place where it all happens is just meters away from the museum's entrance. In the surrounding of the 'place of crime' there are two spots to remember people: 1. The monument which stopped the car. Here are few papers left. This is considered to be the place to remember the killer. At the other side of the road there is a huge flower sea, this is the place people put flowers, teddy bears, candles, notes in memory of the 7 victims which were killed by this horrible assault. There was already a monument here for the Canadian soldiers in W.O. II. This is very strange thing to keep in mind. One of things written was that this assault can learn us to look more after one another, more solidarity between people. Here are some pictures and here is a video of this part of the City of Apeldoorn today This monument is called The Needle. Just see the video below or click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded to You Tube. .
After some days of hard thinking, serious brainwork, it's time for something Light and Yummie... Gonzo inspired me with her kitchen stuff:
To start the day with:
Coffee break:
On bread:
Any time of the day, no words, just a * sigh *:
Here are some sweet plastic things in life! :
This is so cool, I found this last Thursday somewhere left on the queensday fleemarket. Unbelievable. People do throw away far too many things. It makes me sad. I just love this picture. Shapes and that blue...ohhhh
BTW this was dinner tonight:
I feel so lucky to have both a dishwasher (mini) and an always friedly dad with two right hands. He made the cupboard underneath the dishwasher himself!! Dad I am soo proud of you!! 
Walking through the crowded streets of Amsterdam today I did not feel lonely. My companion was very friendly and we had some good talks. It was good to see one another again. The sunshine and the tree blossom made the picturesque scene complete. We went to see a very interesting exhibition on photography in the Museum Marseille at the Keizersgracht. Afterwards we enjoyed watching many people passing by while having a drink at the Spui. This was a wonderful afternoon. Just got home, back at the countryside again. Green meadows instead of car parkings. Silence makes me forget about the sounds of traffic (and worries inside my head about crossing the street).
Loners and Loneliness. Both words are often related to autism. I think there are no people with autism who have not felt lonely sometime during their life. Loner is the one of the words used by the world to describe autists. The world seems to have a bitter sweet relationship with the term loners. Loners: strange, leftovers, old fashioned, weird, not 100%, just crazy. Stereotypes, society still does not know how to handle loners (nor does she knows how to deal with loneliness I think) .
Remember how society has awarded world famous genius loners. The world was very curious what the loner might have discovered while isolated in his study. One could say the those loners are appreciated and respected.
Loneliness is a returning thing in my life (just like it is for many people, and autistic people in general (sometimes it’s a big black hole, sometimes it’s just a cloud passing by). Still thinking about the accident in Apeldoorn, one could consider the driver of the car as a loner. He was alone in his worries, he stand alone in his anger and most important was with no doubt absolutely the only one to think his plan was a good idea. This loner has given the most negative meaning towards the word loner again.
Loneliness can be, in my opinion, considered as being a silent killer. For many lonely people, loners or outcasts, a lonely life is a living hell. Knowledge about the huge impact loneliness can have on someone’s wellbeing and life in general and early diagnosis of mental disorders like autism might help to prevent people going crazy. People might not know the cause of their problems or just do not not how to handle them. Loneliness is often one of the remarks of that hell. In many ways being isolated from society due to loneliness is less accepted than having broken your leg at 6 places e.g. People only whisper about loneliness, and once you have been declared crazy, a rehab of your reputation is very hard to get.
I think that accidents by killers described as loners tells us once more we have to change the attitude against loners in society. Building more bridges between society and e.g. jobless people might reduce the chance people falling into that desperate state of loneliness that might kill neither themselves in a mentally or physically way or the possibility the loner might harm others.
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Gonzo wrote:
I might sound completely insensitive, but I don't think it's our *job* to reach outcasts, to prevent these "accidents".
I think we are responsible for our actions, that's what being a sane consenting adult is all about.
I'm also single with no kids and no job, and it's kind of offensive to me, that such things are made into an excuse to go apeshit and kill people.
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Gonzo, you are right if you say it might not be our job to reach outcast to prevent such accidents. However, I wonder how we can prevent people from becoming so lonely/such loners that they can come to such horrible deeds like killing people on purpose.
Today the Queen and some of her family members unexpectetly visited the injured people in hospital. More and more questionsmarks rise about the Queens security. But, as Holland is just a small country, and Queens Day unites, things like this: could happen but we never expected this on a national holiday.
Of course there have been stories published by papers in which 'someone who knew the killer for a long time and who had been told the killer would do something to himself when...' Stories like that have their own meaning.
The family of the driver is said to be devestated. Of course.
The killer has been described as being a kind of loner, did not participate in the society events in the town where he lived. He lost his job several months, had no relationship and recently had to go move house because he could not affort the rent anymore. The investigation of his body has shown no signs of alcohol, some remains of cannabis was found, but this can have been used some weeks ago.
The upcoming question here is: how can we prevent these things to happen? Many people find it scaring, a man living isolated from society, no wife, no kids, jobless. He must have had a kind of neurosis or similar.
The man is said to have wanted to take revanche. He lost his job and, as you might know yourself, struggled with the feeling of being less important for society.
That is a big problem. Especially when you have no job. How can we reach outcast to prevent these accidents? Any idea?
One of the internet autism related groups noticed an rather odd online 'advertisement' in which yesterday's Apeldoorn killer (a man drove deliberately into the public with the goal to hurt the Queen) was linked to autism. Yes, autism in the spotlights once again. So, with many others I sent an e-mail to the website owners and another mail to the author himself in which I showed my anger to such ignorance and discriminating publications.
Well, the website sent a general response to my complaint....and the advertisement was removed this evening!
Once again this is a true succes for people with autism. The killer was described as being a silent, intelligent man who lived a very withdrawn life. There are many of such people who do not have autism.
The driver of the car yesterday, the killer, died himself shortly before 3 o clock during last night. There are now 7 people dead and about 10 injured.
The whole country still is in shock.
The video here might contain shocking images. Be warned!
Click on the title of this blogpost to see the video
People were released like objects. Here the result. The man died yesterday.
See the shock on royal faces:
As I wrote yesterday our Queen was expected to visit the City of Apeldoorn to take part in public celebrations. The party was soon over, as on April 30, 2009, around 11:50 in the morning, just before the bus with the royal family made its last turn towards the palace of Het Loo in Apeldoorn, a black older model Suzuki Swift crashed through the crowd and slammed into a monument, reportedly just missing (15 meters) the open-topped bus carrying the royal family. Seven people were reported dead, four suffered major injuries, and five people were slightly wounded. Two of the wounded are no longer in hospital. The car driver died in hospital that night. The incident is considered to be a attack on the Queen and her family as the driver has told the police just moments after the crash before his injuries worsened, he deliberately attempted to hurt/kill the Queen and her family. There is a national feeling of shock here in Holland. The Queen has expressed her feelings of grief. I have never seen her so shocked.
I myself had a great day out, I only found out about the drama in Apeldoorn on the way back. Festivities all over Holland had been cancelled due to this accident. Looking back I wish this information had been made public and the arrangements had been cancelled in the city of Groningen, where I was on Queens Day. Anyway, I have had a day with a good friend, we had a good mixture of rest and walking through the busy city with crowds of people. This friend offered me her arm to support me all day. This really made me more relax.
Today we celebrate the birthday of former Queen Juliana, mother of our present Queen Beatrix. 30th of April is a national holiday. This year the Queen will visit the city of Apeldoorn, where her sister Princess Margriet lives. As it is exactly 100 years ago the late Queen Juliana was born, this day is rather special.
From Wikipedia (text and picture):
Koninginnedag ( pronunciation (help·info)) or Queen's Day is a national holiday in the Netherlands, the Netherlands Antilles, and Aruba on 30 April or on 29 April if the 30th is a Sunday. Queen's Day celebrates the birthday of the Queen of the Netherlands and is supposed to be a day of national unity and "togetherness" (Dutch: saamhorigheid). The tradition started on 31 August 1885 on the birthday of Princess Wilhelmina, later Queen Wilhelmina. Since 1949, after the ascension of Queen Juliana, Queen's Day is Queen Juliana's birthday on 30 April. Although Queen Beatrix's birthday is on 31 January, she officially celebrates her birthday on 30 April.
Queen's Day is known for its "freemarket" (Dutch: vrijmarkt) all over the country, where everybody is allowed to sell things in the streets. Other activities during Queen's Day are children's games, individual musical performances, and music concerts. The night before Queen's Day is celebrated too in some cities, and this is called Queen's Night (Dutch: Koninginnenacht). The largest celebration of Queen's Day is in Amsterdam, Queen's Night in The Hague and Queen's Dance (Dutch: Koninginnedans) in Rotterdam. During the celebrations as reference to the colours of the House of Orange-Nassau, people dress in the colour orange, which is sometimes called "orange craze" (Dutch: oranjegekte).
Throughout the country are lots of festivities. The whole country is orange coloring today. It's normally a cozy day with many children selling their stuff on the streets.
I am gonna celebrate Queens Day in Groningen, a university based city not too far away from here.
Curious to see how my autism will work enduring the large crowds of people today.
Lets face it. Finding a job with autism or other disabilities is not easy. However it may be more difficult for you to find a job having an impairment, there will be a job for you somewhere, I am sure. Its just a matter of finding the right people, see golden chances and open you mind for new career opportunities.
How to find the right people? Job search is everywhere. Networking can be done almost everywhere where you meet other people. It's a kind of game. A network exists of all the people in your enviroment, every single person knows people who might know something you can benefit of finding a job. Open your mind for new career chances.
Remember, there is a job for you somewhere. It is important to find out what you really want, what your interests really are and what is best for your general wellbeing. You may find great support (as I did using this book) using the fantastic book (worldwide best selling book on job hunt and career changes) titled 'What color is your parachute?', written by Richard N.Bolles. In this book you may find also some written rules of the game called job hunting.
Bolles decicates a chapter of the book to the subject of job hunt and disabilities.
The author indicates there are two types of employers.
The category that will hire you because they want to want to see what your capabilities are.
and
Those employers who do not want to.
It is important to leave a good impression on both classes of employers. Important is that you have a positive attitude towards both kind of employers. Those employers that do not want to hire you can be asked if they know other employers who are interested in someone with your capabilities. Remember, networking...
See the golden chances. Having a disability there are plenty of skills that you do have, plenty of things you can do. Did you know there are 4342 types of skills? Lets say an average person has 1341 skills. Now tell me, is someone with 1341 skills disabled or what. If you want to see what you CAN do, check the dictionary and write down the verbs of skills you CAN do. While job hunting, please do not let the autism part become an obsessive thing. Thinking about all the things you can not do due to your autism makes you only feel sad, depressed and leads further away from finding a nice job and makes you sink into the marsh of self pity.
I recommend to you all these fascinating books.The complete set of books exists of the clear written, easy to read book and a smaller workbook with lots of exercises. 
Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded to the job hunters bible, this site contains more information about the 'What colour is your parachute?' books by Richard N.Bolles. There is a 'Parachute' book for teens as well as for retirement.
This is the only life we get
and it is filled with autism
well, there are worse conditions
if you think like that you may bring up 'the poor kids in Africa'
the most hateful thing about autism is the lack of empathy I think.
How I wished to be able to show maximum consideration towards others.
To be without the ever lasting feelings analyser.
Lack of empathy may be called less empathy
because it is there but does not show in the regular, accepted way
It srongly depends on who I am with if my feelings come up straight away
God, I hate most about autism the part of having less empathy for others. This makes social situations so hard.
Because there is just nothing in between. It is just that grey, dull, stone in the place where feelings should be there. It's so frustrating.
I hate it!
Anyway, I am doing ok today!
Just so much to see, I forgot about food today. Had taken plenty of beverages with me, but while I was in the studio, I just could not eat properly because of the stress. That seems to happen quite often. That is not just an autism thing. On the way back home I had lunch. Now I have to choose between having some kind of late dinner or going to bed early. Think the food is gonna win.
There were lots of things I thought about this afternoon. Nice people around there. The recordings themselves lasted for about 1 minute. No close up. No talking to do.
I was filmed in the archive, next to this (see picture :
Had to sort out papers and to them into the box. Haha pretending that empty box was full LOL It turned out pretty well. It took just 1 cut!
Afterwards they filmed me being a waitress. Just walking coming and going with a tray with an full bottle of (red) wine, 2 glasses and a can Fanta on it. That was more difficult. Smiling, looking around, walking coming and going all at the same time. But that went well too. It took just 1 cut before the producer was happy.
Hehe, now we have to wait till the beginning of June. The commercial will be broadcast on the regional television in the northern districts of The Netherlands.
Of course, I will show the results here on the Autism Hub!
Yes Yes, in my humble opinion (ahum ;-)) I knew this day had to come.... (now you take a deep breath, have a deep sigh and smile?!): Aspie Bird will appear on screen.
(Do not wish to sound very arrogant, but something inside my mind tells me that I will be much more on publicity things in future...well of course after my book has been published)
My job coach has chosen me to be one of the twenty something participants for the job agencies new commercial. Lucky me ;-)))
This is an unique chance to show my capabilities to interest potential workgivers.
The agency is specialised in job seeking things for people with autism. No offend but many people with autism might give a somewhat withdrawn first time impression.
However my verbal abilities are pretty well, my voice will not be used for this commercial. A voice over will instead talk about me, they told me it will be something like: this is X, looking for a X job. Hmmm, some written instructions for the voice over people what to tell about me would be a good idea. So let's write down some text to hand over to them tomorrow, something creative, different from the others. After all potential work givers must remember me afterwards....
Tomorrow the film will be recorded, Aspie Bird at the film set, filmed sitting behind a desk. Body language tells many many things, so tonight there will be a training in front of the mirror on how to sit properly behind a desk.
Preparing things well takes a lot of time, just as it is with other things. Many of my clothes are blue. Instructions have been given NOT to wear any blue clothes nor clothes with lines or pane patterns AHH.
Did some serious shopping yesterday afternoon,(bought a white blouse and a fresh green pullover) Now I wonder if I should buy a new pair of trousers to make things complete) Let's first check my wardrobe after blogging. In order to finish my outfit, some shopping might be necessary this afternoon. Shopping on Sunday is not my favourite thing to do, but sometimes it is just necessary. You only get a one chance to make a good first impression.
Things to do list:
1. mirror training
2. personal care
3. polish my shoes
4. pack my bag
5. check my wardrobe, see what I still got
6. check my make up things
7. write down instructions for the voice over people
8. make up to 2 complete sets of clothes, just in case of stains tomorrow morning
9. check my jewels
10.pack my lunch for tomorrow
11.do some shopping when needed.
My goals for tomorrow
1. make a good first impression at the film set
2. make good teamwork with the production team
3. not to become too nervous
4. in case of upcoming meltdown, having something around to give me rest
5. I wanna tell the world there is a very nice, kind, flexible, hard working, ambitious young woman seeking for a nice job. It's their golden chance to find their new, loyal employee.
6. meet new people
7. show my capabilties, talents and skills in just a few minutes.
8. show body language which tells the world I enjoy life, can work hard etc.
9. more things I might have forget
10. be very social, I have to sell myself. It is like a recorded job interview I guess.
to be continued tomorrow...
Motherhood can be very joyful. Being a woman with autism and raising children can be very frustrating. That's something I have learned reading your blogs on raising kids and having autism. Mums with autism can feel isolated too I guess. There in between, and for sure, there are plenty of NT women who imagine they are better in raising kids because of their 'complete' communication skills.
I think when speaking on women with autism, there should be extra attention for mums with autism. Especially when autism has not been diagnosed yet, it seems hard for me to combine your own struggle with the job of motherhood.
Just wanted to let you know!
Women with autism are real women. They live, they give birth to babies, they study, they laugh, they go to the movies, museum, café. They travel, explore, read, talk, think, feed this world just as other women do. Women with autism need the world to show ourselves. The world needs them, with their special talents and gifts.
The time has come for women with autism to step into the spotlights. The need, is growing for understanding about autistic women. Here are 4 Reasons Life is not always easy for women with autism. Actually, for women with autism life is more difficult then for men with autism.
1.NOT DIAGNOSED AS AUTISM MAKES WOMEN FEEL ISOLATED
The difficulties woman deal with are simply not diagnosed as being autism. Many women feel they are different then other women, but have no clue what the answer would be to the riddle of their life. I call these woman the Silent Autism Women Sufferers. Sorry if you are one of them.
More knowledge about women with autism is necessary to make a very early autism diagnosis possible. This early diagnosis may less the pain, the abuse and their sense of inferiority.
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In school, while autistic boys are typically loud, disruptive and destructive, girls can be quiet, passive and compliant, but mentally absent; and students who give no trouble are less likely to be flagged up by a busy teacher. It has also been suggested that autism could be one possible cause of traditionally 'female' problems such as anorexia. Christopher Gillberg of the National Centre for Autism Studies at the University of Strathclyde explains, 'A girl may be withdrawn and uncommunicative without attracting attention, but when she develops a calorie fixation it becomes a serious problem. Counting calories may be a manifestation of autism. Some women could be going undiagnosed.'
Ever since autism was first identified in the 1940s it has been accepted that autistic males heavily outnumber females. In Autism: Explaining the Enigma (2003), Uta Frith, a leading developmental psychologist at University College London, says that among those with the most severe autistic symptoms the ratio of men to women is four to one, rising to 15 to one among those with Asperger's syndrome (a variant in which autistic behaviours are less extreme and verbal ability is higher).
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2. AUTISTIC WOMEN CAN MASK THEIR DIFFICULTIES TOO WELL?!
Autistic women often fly beneath the radar because of their ability to mask their difficulties! Girls/women with autism are often considered to be more verbal and more compliant than boys in educational settings, and therefore might show better compensatory learning. Many women do. Women with autism can be pleasant, personable women and they can have a living conversation with others. Let me tell you that I also do gossip and like talking about femine things, like men, hair and make up issues, PMS. It’s all there but not in the way normal women do. Women with autism simply have less developed communication skills. This is a thing many people forget. 'I can not believe you are autistic, you seem to talk so well'. That hurts, people overrate us, this makes us feel isolated and I am left behind feeling unable to explain about myself something people can probably not understand.
3. STRUGGLING THROUGH LIFE (WITHOUT A LABELED CAUSE)Struggling to belong to society, but not knowing why you are rejected by that very society may cause many problems. One might become exhaused just by doing the probably right thing, but not know what the right thing is. Women with autism may loose herself. There is no identity to replace this. The struggle has no name yet. In case you have not been diagnosed yet, this struggle may become such a big, painful experience one can see this as a traumatic event. A women may abuse her own body and mind and cope with an very high sense of inferiority. Life is not more than a struggle, the fun of life is gone, and there is simply no view of improving life in future, because there is no label given yet.
4.THE EMPTYNESS OF ADULT LIFE WITHOUT MOTHERHOOD/CAREER
The gap between motherhood and having a normal adult life can be very depressing for women with autism. In a world in which empathy seems to be awarded as one of life’s most important issues, women with less empathy, due to their autism, have a tough time. How much the emancipation has entered our way of thinking, the empathy thing, the feelings thing is still seen as being a woman’s major gift. When a woman does not have those feeling things, she is often seen as not equal to other women. Emapthy is associated with the ability of caring, loving, supporting others and raising children. Although there are women with autism who raise kids, many women with autism do not start a family. Motherhood is a valued thing in society.
What next to be done to fullfil life and make you feel respected by society? Not all women with autism have the abiltiy to finish education/graduate/go to university. With less learning capabilities, as goods as it gets you may be lucky to find a paid job having autism. often the type of jobs for someone with autism may not offer spectacular career opportinuties. This is something which can be felt like a gap. A missing link because a family or a career might be seen as a fullfillment of life. Where to find identity now? And how to deal with being unfit for work? The life of a jobless who is just not able to find a job due to their invisible autism may be harder for women with autism (without children), because work offers many social contacts. When there is no family planning, e.g. because there is no partner of a child wish, one must find a way to cope with life and to make life worth living.
All four women agree it is harder for a woman with autism than for a man, though they can't explain exactly why. This is one of the difficulties of talking to autistic people: they find it easier to talk about concrete realities - bus routes, football, a broken clothes-horse - than about issues or theories.
Understanding of autism in males has increased dramatically over the past couple of decades.
Part of this article was published on http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/women_shealth/3356496/Autistic-women-a-life-more-ordinary.html
Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded
There is just to much to tell you about women and autism.
Women with autism do have the chance, well, no, they must create the chance of fullfil their own way of emancipation. The world needs to know what the reality on womens life with autism is. The world must know what women with autism really do, really think. This is important because people often judge wrong about us. And following their idea's they may use the wrong attitude to approach us.
And what about archetypes and women with autism?
I have so many ideas for upcoming blogposts. The clock shows now that the time to go to bed has come. I'll leave you here with a link to the Posautive Adults YouTube group. A great way to show the world what autism is.
Tomorrow I will write an article myself, promise. Goodnight all, thanks for your comments.
Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded to Posautive Adults You Tube Group.
Click on the title of this blogpost and you will be forwarded to another video about autism and work. Ok, there might be some jobs which will definately make us unhappy, but there are plenty of jobs which can be done (pretty well) by people with autism!
I'd never want to go back to my old job. It was fun working there but it has brought damage to my general well being and health. Jobs may look nice, but how nice are things when they make you feel sick all the time?
What I try to say is please focus on what you really want to do in life. Use your interests as a leading matter to discover which job really is the job of your dreams. Perhaps you may have trouble doing the exact kind of job because the job requirements are not good for your wellbeing and health due to your autism. But please then keep in mind that there may be a similar job which suits with your autism and which does not damage your general well being and health.
Do not give up to easy on the dreams you want to follow!
You can do it
Only time and destiny will tell you
For both of them just wait for the right moment and the right path of work life will come clear for you! Things will be ok with you! Trust yourself and treat time and life gentle. Take care.
Just to inform you that my weekly Wednesday post on Autism and Work will follow later today. Happy to tell you that my day is that full of activities that you might say I am rather busy. Just got back from an unexpected, but important, appointment. We discussed my voluntary work and she noticed when you have nothing to do there is much more chance to start worrying. I agreed.
Sometimes life is best when you are aboard the train of daily stress and routine. At least that is my experience. Being aboard that demanding train can be very pleasant, useful and socializing, as long as you manage your own boundaries there is nothing to be afraid of, or is there?
Busy again, next thing is prepare myself and my home to have some guests coming over tonight. Keeping my head high!
See you later!
Was thinking in the ways women with autism are equal, and in which way we are all unique. Just take this schedule for instance. We are all different?!
There are just so many of us, women with some kind of autism. You are not alone.
Is this schedule correct? Please correct me if I am wrong.
Types of women with ASD
1. girls with classic autism, already been diagnosed with ASD
2. girls with classic autism, have not been officially diagnosed (dx-diagoseyet
3. teenagers with ASD, no offcial dx yet,
4. teenagers with ASD, with official dx
5. adolescents with ASD, no official dx yet
6. adolescents with ASD, with official dx
7. adult women with ASD and kids, no official dx yet
8. adult women without kids with ASD, no official dx yet
10.adult women without kids with ASD, offcial dx
11.elderly women with ASD, no kids- no official dx yet
12.elderly women with ASD with kids, official dx
or
1. women with ASD official dx, single no kids
2. women with ASD no official dx, single no kids
3. women with ASD married and no kids, official dx
4. women with ASD married with kids, no official dx
5. women with ASD divorced with kids, official dx
6. women with ASD divorced with kids, no official dx
7. women with ASD widowed with kids, official dx
8. women with ASD widowed with kids, no official dx
9. women with ASD widowed without kids, no official dx
10.women with ASD widowed without kids, official dx
or
1. women with ASD, official dx, high school educated
1. women with ASD, no official dx, high school educated
2. women with ASD, official dx, university degree
3. women with ASD, no official dx, no university degree
4. women with ASD, official dx, university degree, jobless home
5. women with ASD no official dx, university degree, jobless home
6. women with ASD, official dx, high school gratuated, jobless home
7. women with ASD, no offcial dx, high school graduated, jobless home
8. women with ASD, official dx, with work experience, jobless home
9. women with ASD, no official dx, with work experience, jobless home
10.women with ASD, official dx, without work experience, jobless home
11.women with ASD, no official dx, without work experience, jobless home
12.women with ASD, official dx, work experience, university degree, jobless home
13.women with ASD, no official dx, work experience, university degree, jobless home
14.women with ASD, official dx, no work experience, university degree, jobless home
or
1. girls with classic autism
2. female teenagers with classic autism
3. female adolescents with classic autism
4. women with classic autism
5. girls with Aspergers Syndrome
6. female teenagers with Aspergers Syndrome
7. female adolescents with Aspergers Sydrome
8. women with Aspergers Syndrome
9. elderly women with Aspergers Syndrome
10.girls with PDD-NOS
9. female teenagers with PDD-NOS
10.female adolescents with PDD-NOS
11.women with PDD-NOS
12.elderly women with PDD-NOS
or
1. lonely women with classic autism
2. happy women with Aspergers Syndrome
3. busy female adolescents with autism
4. dating women with PDD-NOS
5. loving elderly women with classic autism
5. caring 100 year old women with Asperges Syndrome
or
.... fill in yourself
Just got back from the 2 month dietrician's appointment. What was a dream for more years has become reality during the past months: My underweight has disappeared, I now have a healthy amount of kilogrammes. This is so good.
I do not want to give advice to people here, but I know there are (some/many) people with autism dealing with underweight too. I only can tell you that my life feels much much better with those extra kilogrammes. It feels I can stand more, not 'easy to break' anymore.
For me the support of a (paid by insurance) dietrician has been very useful so far. She notices things I did not not know or of which I was not aware of.
Take steps. Start today. You do your body no good by giving it less then it deserves. I noticed important mood improvements after having eaten more and more! Here is the menu my former dietrician an I made to gain weight some years ago for the days when I am at home.
Breakfast:
1 cup of full cream milk with an outmeal gruel
glass of orange juice
medication, vitamins
Coffeebreak:
a slice of gingerbread with butter
1 glass of yoghurt drink
Lunch:
2 slices of bread with butter and peanut butter
cup a soup
1 glass of yoghurt drink
During the afternoon:
1 or 2 crackers with butter and chocolade spread
1 glass of yoghurtdrink
1 banana (eventually with yoghurt)
Dinner:
piece of fish or vegetarian schnitzel, prepared in olive oil.
potato puree with butter or creme fraiche
vegetables with sauces (e.g. broccoli)
possibly dessert
During the evening:
Fruit or sandwich
piece of fish extra
1 glass of yoghurtdrink
I must tell you my eating habits might have changed during the years. This menu has been a great help to take the first step to reconsider my eating habits and to take the first step from underweight to normal weight.
Was afraid going down the hill again, into another dark period of life
But it seems this was temporary, lucky me
Did lots of gardening this weekend. There is so much to do, you hardly can see what I've done so far!
Went to the railroad museum today. It was fun and fascinating to see all the self made small railways!
Yesterday an acquintance came along unexpectedly while I was gardening. She stopped by and we had a drink together in the sunshine. I was sitting in the garden, she was sitting in the chair. The neigbourhs' cat came along and stayed. She wanted to be hugged and explored all around us. It was warm, sunny and cosy! Nice!
Goodnight
I was so impressed by this article ever since I read it I seem to get more ideas on women and autism.
Gonna do some brainwork in the sunshine outside (it's such a beautiful Spring Weekend) and will get back to you later today.
Woman with autism migt experience more/other difficulties in life than men with autism because briefly said:
- Men with autism are slightly more accepted. People know 'Rain Man'
- For many women starting a family might be one of their goals in life,
if you are a female and have autism, there might be no chance to start a family, because of the lack of a partner. It can be very difficult accepting this thing, as autistic woman like myself do like to show the loving/caring side of my personalities towards others. I feel like I am a left over, feels like I am not 100% equal to normal women.
-Woman are expected to have and to show much empathy. It's just a unspoken rule in modern society. People should be aware of the fact that women with autism do definately are aware themselves on the lack of empathy they suffer from. We know that we can not show that 100% empathy the world wants us to show. There is pain and grief behind this awareness. I feel I can not give someone that much a NT woman can give. That hurts.
-Woman with autism could be rated as outcasts of society in a strange way. Well, that does not have to be for all of us, we even might feel accepted by society as well. There is no label the society can give us (yet) being a 'female nerd' (woman with autism).
More on this subject during my posts this coming week.
more to come,
A.Bird
This is great! While surfing YouTube I discovered this autism rap made by Leeds Adults at Purple Pro Audio Studio in Leeds in 2006!
Aim is to raise awareness of Asperger Syndrome in Leeds.
As this is the 3rd song they have recorded, I will have a look for songs number 1 and 2.
Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded. Enjoy the video!
There have been a couple of very interesting blogposts on autism in woman. Such articles are so important to raise understanding and awareness. Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded.
Many people might believe the idea that woman with autism are just as man with autism. That is not true, woman with autism are likely to be more extravert I think. In my opinion the difference between the real world and woman with autism is smaller then for most man with autism. The gap might be not that wide because woman are likely to pick up more social signs from their environment. Those special interests which are remarks of male autists do appear with woman with autism too. They seem however to be more in contact with the real world.
As individuals are different, so are woman with autism too. I have experienced such differences between woman with PDD-NOS autism and woman with Aspergers Syndrome.
Woman with autism seem to be more outgoing while males with autism are likely to be more introvert. Speaking for myself I talk more about my problems rather then showing agression like some autism men do.
For woman with autism live can more difficult speaking of female issues like starting a family, raising a child. As in general man with autism are likely to find no partner to start a family with, this might also count for woman. This can give deep greef and causes much pain by woman with autism. This is the shattered dream. The dream of a lot of woman. What next to do with life? Staying single, focus on that nice job, working hard to make a career in order to gain status and happiness.
tired now, off to bed
will be edited tomorrow
for now
goodnight
thanks for reading
suggestions welcome!
UPDATE: Will be edited this weekend. Sorry, too tired now! The subject deserves more time than I now have. Goodnight.
Watch CBS Videos Online
This made my day! What a fantastic idea! This CBS News-video shows a woman with autism using her capabilities the right way! For a long time I have been dreaming about opening a second hand store myself. Here in Holland the recycling/re use industry is very popular. I am thrilling, we can do this in Holland too!!
Today I have been asked for someting very special....more on that next month!
My voluntary work for 2.5 days a week at the city council's office reached it's first year anniversary yesterday. I am proud. I like the job and the people are nice. It's a safe workplace. I am happy!
One of the most nervous things I an imagine is a job interview. This counts for all people. People with autism might have even more problems with such conversations because they a. often have difficulties reading the body language of the questiontaker and b. they find it hard to 'hear or read between the lines', some questions can be a kind of manipulating tool to. One wants to test the job seeker.
The best advice I can give you is to practize a job interview several times (into the mirror, with your mum) and make a list of questions to ask.
I found this website on the internet with some tips. Enjoy and Good luck.
Suggestion is to check YouTube as well while looking for information on job interviews, there are some interesting video's.
Click on the title of this blogpost to be linked forward.
Imagine you wake up one day, and someone tells you that your autism has gone. What would you do? Would you feel free? Will you miss the "special" feeling of being autistic? Can not imagine what I would do. I think when my autism would have been gone, there will be some kind of damaged personality left anyway. The pain, the grief will always be there. Hmmm, would I like it?? I have my doubts.
Every morning I seem to have trouble starting up the day. There is always the thought of 'o yes, another day with autism', followed with a sigh. What about you? Every day is new, every day is like inventing the wheel again.
There is a lot what one must know before eating a product. Packings are not always easy to read. How packings can be made autism-friendly.
Have you ever thought about the information printed on a food packing? No packing seems to show the equal amount of information at the same spot. Of course there is a table telling us the amount kilocalories a product contains. And there are several nation wide used labels showing us this is a healthy choice object.
It's a discovery tour every time I buy a new product to find the right thing I needed. It almost causes me sensory overload standing before the shelves filled with dozens of products who all promise me to be the best.
After having made my choice, the second round begins, how to get those stuff home knowing about my disturbed locomotive. A bottle is easy to fall, how to pack strawberries, and what is absolutely necessary to fill the bottom of my shopping bag with in order to prevent damage.
As many people with autism are single, or perhaps you are not single but you use one person meals as well, I am corcerned about the many extra packings we single people use simple because there are only family packings. Luckily, during the past years the food industry discovered the 2.5 million of singles in our country and brought up many new single products. Eh...ofcourse we have to pay this new products as well...;-)
I wonder how you deal with packings. Opening packings seems to be another thing. More on that in a next blogpost.
Autists might like Jezus. If you believe (it) or not, the things Jezus goes through during Easter and autism have more in common then you might think. This story is not written to offend anyone. If someone may feel harmed in any way, I therefore apologize. I acknowledge Jezus stands above all standards and people and there is nothing or no one which can be compared to his kindness. He died for us, he carries all our sins and has sacrificed his own live in order to set us free.
Jezus was special. He was gifted with many talents. His wisdom was one of them.
He acted in his own way. He lived among the people on earth in his own world.
People with autism often are seen as and feel like they are strangers in his world. Just like Jezus. Jezus was different from the mass of people too.
Jezus was bullied as well. They did not understand him. Like autists he did nothing wrong too, but had to pay the price for the ignorance of people. They just want him to hang, he should be crucified because that is what the mass wants. Well, that is fortunately not the case with people with autism.
Although in my opinion the way bullies impacts on someone’s life can be felt like being crucified mentally. Autists know spot and doom too. I can remember standing in a crowed of people judging me. Being manipulated by someone with authority who does not know what to do with my autism behaviour.
Jezus is crucified.
Afterwards he is buried in a grave.
The next morning the micracle of resurrection has taken place.
In my opinion every kind of recovery made by an autist in order to carry the judgements from society can be seen as a resurrection too. Autistic people do not let ourselves be buried alive. We have our boundaries. With the care and believe others have in our capabilities, we stand up.
Every time people with autism (or generally spoken the people who are bullied) stand up and walk away from the doom brought to them by others, can be seen as a new awakening in my opinion. Over and over again we stand up and start a new life, and leave the doom behind us, although we have not recovered yet from the (mentally) pain brought to us by others.
Go ahead and walk trough back to the light! Life has so much more to offer to you! How hard life may feel for you right now, keep believing in the compassion of humans around you. And of course compassion is not only for those who believe in God, it’s everywhere if you are open to see it.
I repeat having no intension to offend anyone in what kind of way. This post is not set up as a spot on the Christian faith nor the person of Jezus.
25 (31.) Chorale (Chorus I and II)
What my God will, be done alway,
His will, it is the best will;
To help all those he is prepared
Whose faith in him is steadfast.
He frees from want, this righteous God,
And punisheth with measure:
Who trusts in God, on him relies,
Him will he not abandon.
(German:)
25. Choral
Was mein Gott will, das g'scheh allzeit,
Sein Will, der ist der beste,
Zu helfen den'n er ist bereit,
Die an ihn gläuben feste.
Er hilft aus Not, der fromme Gott,
Und züchtiget mit Maßen.
Wer Gott vertraut, fest auf ihn baut,
Den will er nicht verlassen.
37.(44.) Chorale (Chorus I and II)
Who hath thee thus so smitten,
My health, and thee tormented,
So evilly abused?
Thou art indeed no sinner
Like us and our descendants;
Of evil deeds thou knowest not.
(German)37. Choral
Wer hat dich so geschlagen,
Mein Heil, und dich mit Plagen
So übel zugericht'?
Du bist ja nicht ein Sünder
Wie wir und unsre Kinder;
Von Missetaten weißt du nicht.
44.(53.) Chorale (Chorus I and II)
Commend thou all thy pathways
And all that grieves thy heart
To the most faithful keeping
Of him who ruleth heav'n.
To clouds and air and breezes
He gives their course to run,
He will find pathways also
Whereon thy foot may walk.
(German)44.Choral
Befiehl du deine Wege
Und was dein Herze kränkt
Der allertreusten Pflege
Des, der den Himmel lenkt.
Der Wolken, Luft und Winden
Gibt Wege, Lauf und Bahn,
Der wird auch Wege finden,
Da dein Fuß gehen kann.
(German)62. Choral
Wenn ich einmal soll scheiden,
So scheide nicht von mir,
Wenn ich den Tod soll leiden,
So tritt du denn herfür!
Wenn mir am allerbängsten
Wird um das Herze sein,
So reiß mich aus den Ängsten
Kraft deiner Angst und Pein!
62.(72.) Chorale (Chorus I and II)
When I one day must leave here,
Yet do thou not leave me;
When I my death must suffer,
Come forth thou then to me!
And when most anxious trembling
Hath once my heart possessed,
Then free me from my anguish
Through thine own fear and pai
Yes! This afternoon I went to see one of the most famous Matthaus Passions Concerts in Holland. The Holland Boys Choir conducted by Pieter Jan Leusink. It was marvelous. Been there before. Kind of tradition, this was my second visit.
Perhaps due to my autism I can loose myself completely into music.
For years I did not dare to go on my own to such events. Now I know it might likely more fun going together, but this is also ok.
Waiting for the train, blogging this on the road.
Whising you a good evening en see you tomorrow Easter Sunday!
Yes I bought chocolate eggs but no golden ;-)
Take care
A.Bird.
Sunshine here, high temperatures make live easy. Worked today, nice people to work together with. Did lots of things. Enjoyed it all. Tomorrow will be a special day, will tell you more tomorrow!
For now, I wish that all might feel good these days. Hope your daily routine has not been disturbed too much, affecting your general well being. Take care.
I found an interesting video on the CBS websit.
Click on the blogpost to be forwarded to their site
Unfortunately people could think adults with autism all act like the people showed in the video. Not all adults with autims do need supported living in a community home far away from the outside world.
I was touched by the words of a mum telling about the question of ther 10 year old daughter: what will happen with me when you are dead? That question has been on my mind for years. Contacts with other people with autism made clear this is not a silly question as many other adults with autism and/or their parents do worry about the time after the parents have died.
How do you feel about this subject. Do you think about the future without the support of your parents/family? Please tell me, it really matters to me.
200 Posts today! Time flies when you are having fun ;-)
Many people with autism (and these days many others without autism too) have to live by a minimum of money. For people with autism their only income is the government’s monthly payment due to the disability insurance act. I wonder how much status affects us, the people with autism. We are known to have the ‘skill’ to be easily overwhelmed by others such as salesmen. In the workplace many unwritten rules about status and bling bling apply. How to deal with this and the suction power of commerce?
We now want to own that luxury car, a Rolex, the newest type of Smartphone. Plastic surgery takes away our inferiority complex. Luxury goods, electronic gadgets and other bling bling articles make live more convenient and friends impressed. Once we have reached our goal we will try to beat this level and long for the upper class. If we could only be a part of the rich and famous or powerful
In this world of luxury there seems no escape once you have been persuaded through commerce calls, one can easily be trapped in the retrace for more and more because you do not want to look like a fool or old fashioned.
A job not only provides income needed for basic living things, but also identity and makes clear where we belong in the working society; we are part of the working majority.
In the workplace it’s not what you do is awarded. There are many unwritten social rules which apply. (
Mark, Thank you! 
One of the basic qualities of autism is in my opinion the ability our imperturbability, the quality which makes us stay cool where others are overheated. How much do we, people with autism, actually care about status and bling bling? Does it really matter to us? Or are we less interested?
Although easily overwhelmed by for others such as salesmen, people with autism are less likely to follow the big mass. That is a good sign. We should keep it that way, although it is hard to stay sober in this world where having money seems to mean having fun.
I wonder if the composure of autism can ‘save’ us from being floated away by salesmen, society luxury hunger and work status related bling bling. How do sales suction power and autism related imperturbability find a balance in your life? Interesting isn’t it?
Daily routines give people structure, rest and more. People with autism do benefit having a daily routine. If they have not, such as in case of being jobless, their wellbeing is in danger. Maybe a heavy statement, but certainly true. Even professionals know this.
I found this very interesting page on the web with dozens of daily routines of lots of well known people throughout time. Interesting to see what others do in their time.
Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded.
Enjoy!
Food
As we are different as any other individuals,there seems to be no general eating habit for people with autism. Some people have no problems sharing meals, for others eating together is no fun. In these times of television and internet the way we take in our food does show less similarity with the etiquette rules from the past.
These days we eat our dishes in an easy way far away from the dinnertable. There is nothing wrong with this although some surveys have proved families definetly benefit by having dinner together far away from the television.
Sharing meals together can be a source of sensory overload. The change of the way and the place we take our food in can be a positive change as well. Meals offered this way may cause less stress, however as eating together is considered to be a very social thing.While taking in food we listen to one another, have some social chit chat. And a one to one dinner can be very romantic as well.
If you do not like to share meals you might miss a great deal of social traffic, like stories, gossip, opinions, news. You'll miss some social skills training probably as well. I wonder how to fill in this gap.
Thank you for all your comments on yesterday's blog. It's time the world realises how much people with autism generally are aware of their own shortcomings. But I think we should not be too hard in judging the outdoor world. Besides, speaking of diabilities there are few people who really know what it's like to have impairments. Most people live a generally quiet life. What people might not experience in fysical or mental impairments, they might have to live with other unpleasant things. We all carry our luggage throughout life. Be aware of autism but do not live live as an autist, because you are more than just that!
While typing this the sun shines, as I sit outside I can hear the sound of singing birds (it is busy in the air! sounds like several songs sung by different birds LOL)and the church clock lets know the day has reached dinnertime.
There is a lot to be said on autism. There is a lot to be enjoyed in life. This statement ofcourse does not means there are no good stories to be told on autism. There are plenty of them. However, we must prevent talking too much on autism. Do not analyse everything. I do that when I meet a nice guy. By making this analysis he turns even dull before I really know him...
Goodnight for you all
Take Care
Do we miss the missing link? Are people with autism aware of their lack of empathy? And how do they feel about it? Do they actually "miss" the missing link? Here are some of my thoughts. Your comments are very welcome!
Well, it is well known that many many people (are taught to) believe people with autism can not show empathy at all. Some day, someoneI, or some people threw a statement into the world that autists have a lack of empathy. My idea is that those persons did not know how hurtful this was to say about autists. Anyway, we are now years later and the knowledge about autism has improved. We have to change this prejudice about us, do you join us?
Empathy is felt in a different way by people with autism. We are no living fridges, we are loving people just as anyone else. Often I have the feeling I can feel what empathy must be. Watching other people talking to one another, falling in love, undertanding one another. After having had a good time with family or good friends I realise this must be empathy. It is there but it takes a lot of time to show. The lack of empathy I would describe as always have to defrost my socials skills just before starting communication.
I feel the missing link, I miss that part of me that just there, ready to use like this skill of empathy is for others, without autism. I miss it by feeling sorry that it has grown into such small size in my brain. I feel grief about it. Feels like being sad about your inner child. Bit like mourning about the missing link.
Do you know what I mean?
The weekend has begun! Warm, sunny weather is expected for this weekend. Wonderful weather which might force you to go outdoors. I will enjoy the warm weather too, but where to go? What's wrong with just staying home and enjoy reading a good book in the garden? Autism and weekend planning: every weekend that strange feeling is there, what to do, where, what will my company be?
Often I wonder if the tendency to do lots of things on my own is just me liking my own company or should I consider going alone somewhere as a result because there is no one to join me? In which way are some said to be autism related issues a result of loneliness? In my opinion this effects one another in a great way.
To make my weekend fun I make plans.
The reason I like to be around my home and doing lots of little things might have something to do with the level of solitude I must experience in order to reload myself after being social this week during work. Just like other people ;-)
Here are some things to do for free at home:
1. cross word puzzles
2. start writing on your book
3. read books on your bookshelf you have not read
4. rise early watch the sunrise
5. listen to the radio or music
6. make lists of things to do, your wishes for life
7. make your photo albums up to date
8. just sit and think
9. enjoy the silence sitting in a chair
10. watch some dvd's
11. talk to yourself, I must say it is a great way to experience your real thoughts on matters
12. make plans and write them down
13. clean up your desk, living room, bedroom etc. and throw things away!!
14. read newspapers
15. draw your life, your mood, feel free to express yourself
16. take a bath tour, create your own home spa adventure, pamper yourself
17. search the internet on a certain subject
18. exercise yoga
19. do some gardening
20. watch the sky for 15 minutes, it can be very surprising
21. study the world map
22. take a closer look at your belonings, do you really want to have it all?
23. phone a friend (sorry this is not free)
24. make a puzzle (no crossword) on the table, get yourself coffee and enjoy the radio while puzzling
25. make plans for the future
Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded to a nice site, It's a wiki How To guide...How to be...Enjoy
Today It's World Autism AwarenessDay.
For those who found this page through Google by searching World Autism Day
Welcome! Thank you for your interest in autism!
I can tell you briefly what it's like to have autism:
Life is usually very busy, because my brain does not filter the information it gets from outside. So everything is put together, all signs from the outside world continually affect my brain.
If you know someone with autism, you might live in an area where someone is very introvert, a kind of hermit, please notice despite their longing to spent much time alone, people with autism do like social contact too. Ask someone with autism what the best way is to approach him.
It is a myth that people with autism are not aware of being different. We daily experience difficulties in contact with others. That frustrates us and makes us once again realise how different our language is comparing to the common language.
Wereld Autisme Bewustwordings Dag as this day is called in Dutch, is a good way to remember you can do a lot for people with autism, just being there.
Thank you!
Social hierarchy
A job not only provides daily routine, income, fun but creates the possibilities to get higher ranked at the society ladder which all of us affects, if we like it or not. The disability hierarchy is an very interesting thing. But what is it? About groups standards and autism. If we like it or not, we are all art it.
What is the disability hierarchy? The placement of a person on the hierarchy depends entirely on the impairment or impairments. The list goes as follows: The blind or deaf are at the top of the list because they have no serious visually seen impairments.
The most obviously disabled are next in "the list", such as people with spinal cord injuries rank higher than those with congenitally-caused conditions such as Spina Bifida. Those with intellectual or developmental impairments, and mental illnesses unfortunately are at the "bottom of the pyramid”
If you have a disability with a higher ranking you might secretly be happy you have nothing more serious. If you have a non visually seen impairment you could score higher than those with an malformed body. ‘I stand above you because I am more like normal’
People with chronic diseases and disabilities take a minor position on this list. They have been set at a position somewhere at the edge of society. A place they share with other outcast and vulnerable people like mentally disabled, addicts, homeless and criminals as well. People with autism are labelled in this group..
Those physically disabled are slightly higher ranked than those with a psychical handicap. At least this is what they consider themselves to be. People in a wheelchair are higher ranked in hierarchy than most other people with disabilities. This might have something to do with the image and acceptation by society.
This statement was set by a former chairman of the Dutch general disabilities board (GC-raad) which is a national platform for disabled organisations. One of their tasks is to advice the government. Altough Mr. Troost served this statement during a speech at a conference with a lot of humor, many people felt offended by his point of view. Mr. Troost based his knowledge on the exeriences he had during meetings. ‘You see disabled people rate one another and to set once again the internal ranking.
Even within a subgroup of disabled, like people with autism status differences apply. Even here another hierarchy will be set. This is an point of discussion which comes back frequently within the PAS, the Dutch society for Persons with an Autism Spectrum disorder for 18 years and older. It is a sensitive topic.
As usual there is always a number of people who strongly disagree. They feel like they are equal to everybody simply because ‘we are all autists’'. There’s is group too who does not feel that way. It is a dangerous thing to say aloud, but the high functioning autists often feel better than those who function in a lower way. They are higher ranked on the social ladder. Their social status is higher and so are their chances in society. The ‘milder’ your autism, the higher in the hierarchy.
Of course no one tells about him or her feeling better than someone with a more serious disability. Status and position are important. The better someone functions the more communicative the higher he or she stands on the social ladder. And those others, you do not want to belong to.
You want to belong to the those who are above you in hierarchy, the real normal people, not to those who are even more disabled than you, this makes your position even worse. High functioning autists have to fill in at their own standards who is the leader and those who are considered to be the followers. Looks count. Subgroups exist with strong mutually set borders. You do belong here, you not. How so do we tell are all equal. Abosoluty not.
(thanks to http://blobolobolob.blogspot.com/2006/11/disability-hierarchy.html- The Diary of a Goldfish and http://www.pasnederland.nl)
I think they are all great to have the courage to have their picture published on this website. It’s the Autism Adults Picture Project I am talking of.
After all there is nothing to be ashamed of being a human being with autism. So one day I might join them. It so good to see that autism indeed has many faces. It's a great way to make people aware about autism as well.
Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded. Enjoy!
Cooking lessons
Projects like these are not unique, fortunately. More and more cooking studios open their doors for people with autism. Kaatjes Keuken in Holland is one of those special cook studio's which offers special cooking lessons for children with autism. (Click on the title of this blogpost to see her Dutch website) The lessons are given by Mrs. Karen Den Dekker, a cook educationist. On Saturday Mrs. Den Dekker teaches young adults the art of cooking. The limited group size of 2 students only provides rest and gives students the opportunity to watch one another cooking. There is no group pressure which tells all students should be finished at the same time. Special care is given to the individuals special interest. These cooking lessons also reckon what’s good to learn to provide in future needs?
The student makes clear what he wants to cook during the lessons. Students learn to read, understand and how to work with a recipe, to put everything needed ready before they start cooking, touch ingredients, control measures and volumes, to use a ride variety of tools, to wash the dishes. The students work with concentration. Afterwards they take home some self prepared meals.
zie startdata
Living Issues
The video below shows a project for supported living for adults with autism in the city of Schiedam, The Netherlands. Everyone has an apartment of their own with two rooms, a simple kitchen, a shower/toilet and a hall with a cupboard.
One of the apartments is used as living room, here people can come and meet others if they like to. Meals are served here for all inhabitants too. The caregivers have their own apartment which is used as an office. The video shows (Deel 1=Part 1 the entrance, Part 2= the caregivers office/meeting centre which can be used by residents as well, Part 3=the meeting place for residents and finally Part 4, the park area behind the building)
The entrance doors of this complex is automatically closed between 6 o clock in the evening and 7 in the morning.
Residents living here all have an autism related disorder with normal intelligence. Some of them work outdoors (up to 4 days a week).They all provide in their own income and have indication to get government paid supporting assistance, personal care and need household assistance.
With some assistance of caregivers, residents are capable to take responsibility for their own home. This means they are capable of carrying responsibility for their own privacy and security (they wont let everybody come into the complex)
Assistance is given individually as well as in groups. The individual needs of people are the measurements of the care given. The residents can do their own personal care and simple household activities as well as they can move independently in traffic and travel by public transport.
The building was set up in an area where it’s safe to be on the streets at night. Shops, public facilities as well as public transport can be reached within 500 meters from the building.
Click on the title of this blogpost to be linked to their Dutch website.
This week some cleaning up was necessary. Eh...can you understand the need of saving grocery tickets for over 2 years?? So I got rid of most of them. Some turned out to be warrantee tickets. It was a good feeling leaving the old paper drop off point with an empty car!
Cleaning up means making room for new things to come. It's time to reorganize things again. Autism is never the same either, there is a difference between good and bad days and I noticed there seems to be a slightly difference between thoughts about my Aspergers just after I got diagnosed and now. So many things have changed. For instance the support my caregiver gives me every week. Life has certainly become easier for me after I got my official diagnosis and my support network was set up well.
Time to move on. But first of all, time to go to sleep. According to summer time it is already 10 minutes before the new day. I'll try to blog in the morning tomorrow!
Goodnight!
In a previous life (the time before I knew about my Aspergers) I considerd myself to be cool. Perhaps the group of people who are just not that social is the group of people I belong to. How much I wanted to be more joyful and outgoing, I had to accept me being this 'coldharted' personality.
Empathy is one of the things which is not a key quality of people with autism.
How to explain to the world what its like to have lack of such a standard human skill.
First of all, let me tell you my lack of empathy is not a choice.
It is not a matter of me wanting to be impolite. Simply I do not think the way NT people (people without autism) do. It just does not comes upon my mind to put you first.
Reconsider I know I have lack of empathy,
that is something I am always aware of,
however there are many situations,
I am not aware of the impact of empathy in those sitations
I am aware of your astonishment,
I feel you try to make contact with me
I see your irritation, desperatation, disappointment, anger, sadness
I feel them as well, at least I can imagine all those emotions
I always feel like I fail
There is a failure inside my mind,
There is something you would like me to share with you
But I just can not share it with you
unless you explain me what I need to feel to share with you
Often I feel like a second choice
why should you want to move closer towards me
When somebody else
can give you for free
that thing what I miss
called empathy
This is nice. Autism and art are so interesting. This video is about a young artist with autism. He is taken in a helicopter over Rome and then, over the next 3 days, draws it ALL by memory!
Enjoy! I just get another pack of tissues...sneezing...and so on..
Sorry, yes, another video. As I have a bad cold I long for my warm bed now.
So no self writen article. The video below is very interesting. It shows how people with autism can be part of society, including workplaces. Goodnight!
To live a happy life having autism is possible in my opinion. However many things can be reached, people with autism should be aware their happiness first of all can be reached by accepting and exploring their own world and identity.
I have no doubts there are many happy things in the life of someone with autism. In my opinion however the kind of happiness that can be reached by someone with autism is slightly different from what people without autism call happiness. The amount of happiness may vary too I think. Unfortunatey, I think autistic people can not expect to reach the equal amount of happiness in life comparing to NT-people.
In order to gain happiness living life being an adult with autism I think we (people with autism) must create our own measures of happiness. This means if we mirror ourselves too much on the happiness from others without autism, we might always feel being a loser.
Due to our differently developed social skills we might never reach the communications level of NT people. I have the tendency to keep on searching to discover the secret of those communations skills. Wanna analyse things that are just basic feelings like empathy who just do not belong to my personal luggage.
Comparing with others, the meaning of happiness is for people with autism different.
For me happiness is knowing I will find my way in life. That I can trust there will be support available when needed. That my elderly parents now can trust my well being will be ok when they are gone. That makes me happy.
One of the main aspects of what people appreciate in life is the way people have the chance to develop their talents and skills. However many support and care is available for people with autism, on the road to fullfillment of their skills and talents the lack of social skills will turn out to be a major obstacle on the road to happiness I think. There are just so many things based on communications skills.
I personally feel that because of my autism there is a gap between the general happiness and my own well being. It’s like knowing you will always read the wrong mirror image.
As our personal skills and talents need to be developed it is sad to realise that autism makes many talents disappear into the darkness, because of the lack of social skills. If one speaks on happiness and autism this is a major problem. Many things can be learned but some things need to be feeled.
For people with autism it is crucial to find their own identity in life. From there they can develop their own happiness by doing things in their own world based on their own skills (often hidden treasures and talents).In that world there is likely to be more and enduring happiness than in the normal world. Be yourself!
This blog wants to inform you and share opinions, feelings and probably useful information about Autism and several subjects with you. On the subject of Autism and Food there is much to be written. Many things have already been written by others. I try to post self written articles in this blog. However, sometimes I think it is just better to make people aware of articles written by someone else, simply because they are so well written.
Patricia Clark was a well known, American based Lady who has done many things for people including people with autism and autism self advocacy, due to her own experiences. I was sorry to read Mrs. Clark has passed away some years ago.
Mrs. Clark has written about Food Issues for Independent Autistic Adults.
A Must read for everyone I think.
Click on the title of this blog post to be linked forward.
Every time when the Sunday has finally arrived I am grateful for this day of rest.
Well, a Sunday can you make as much of a day of rest as you want ofcourse.
The whole world seems to take things slow on a sunday. With less trafficmy sensory overload is less and people seem to be more relaxed. When it's Sunday autism seems to give me less trouble finding my way among the world. This whole Sunday affection of mine is ofcourse very personal. It depends on how you feel and what my activities are.
Today I went to see an exhibition by J.Waterhouse. His famous paintings are very touching. It was nice to go there and it was good to be home again too. Tomorrow I have to decide about buying a new phone or not. I have the tendency to take a sim only membership as my old phone is not broken yet and I have my doubts on the costs of mobile phone internet.
5 charming things about people with autism
1. they are honest
2. and pure
3. and like a good joke, (that is hidden , like a treasure)
4. want to please you
5. are polite to others
10 prejudices about autism
1. autism can be cured in 2009
2. people with autism do not like to be hugged
3. they can feel no sympathy for other people
4. they all behave like the movie character Rain Man
5. people with autism are all the same
6. they like to be alone, so keep away from them
7. people with autism are dull, dirt, lazy and live a hermit life
8. they do not care about what other people say
9. they do not like parties
10.everyting must go according to schedule, each day the same routine always
10 facts about me
1. I am a woman
2. this year my thirties will be over, and I’ll start a new stage of life turning 40
3. I have not booked this years holiday
4. some time ago some professionals told me I have Aspergers syndrome
5. I can live with that, although not easy, but whoise life is easy nowadays?
6. my favourite color is blue
7. yes, I like trains
8. one of the best things in life so far was the plan to start this blog
9. I am full of plans to improve the quality of life for people with autism
10. I feel sorry I have not know about my autism being a child
3 things I see right now in this room
1. the television, it’s off only the red standby light shines
2. a half full glass of milk, with banana flavour
3. a Logitech wireless grey mouse
10 plans for the future
1. accept my autism as easy as possible
2. it’s time to move on, autism on the background, there is more in life, so enjoy!
3. travel to Argentina, Canada, New Zealand, Iran, Germany, Indonesia
4. make a pilgrimage tour to , Santiago de Compostela
5. buy a new mobile phone with mobile internet, but when?
6. move from the countryside to a city
7. start a new education
8. open my hart for meeting new people
9. enjoy life, yesterday I read my dairy and I often wrote down 10 things to be grateful for, that’s nice!
10. gather as much knowledge about many subjects as possible
7 things you can do free to please me
1. tell me I am the sweetest woman in the world
2. leave a blog comment
3. just tell a good joke
4. or better tell me a good story
5. enjoy my company when walking down the street
6. be silent for 5 minutes every hour we are together
7. take my arm in a gently way and help me crossing the street
8 things I like about blogging
1. its nice to read other people’s blogs
2. its nice to be able to create blog postings
3. it’s a way to express myself
4. I hope this blog is helpful to people to read about autism
5. www.statcounter.com is just so useful, I am just addicted to see the visitors location map!
6. with blogging on autism people can help one another
7. I consider blogging as a way of self advocacy
8. every day a blog is worth it, it’s a daily routine, that’s good.
3 reasons the tv is off now
1. the noise was too much
2. the radio has better programs
3. or even, a book
4 Books I am currently reading
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows (English Version)
2. Patricia de Martelaere – The Unexpected Answer (Belgian philosopher and Writer, passed away recently far too young at the age of 51 because of a brain tumor)
3. Jan Siebelink – Get down at a field of violets
4. Life with Autism by Martine Delfos and Marijke Gottmer
2 plans for my blog
1. to write several postings in advance
2. to change the lettertype
Second and Final part of the documentary about Daniel Tamment. Once again click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded to the video.
Been away all day, sorry, no homemade videoblog today. I will make a video this weekend. I found this video on You Tube: The Boy with the Incredible Brain, about savant autists. Enjoy! Click on the title of this blogpost to be linked to You Tube.
Work is more than just a way to make money.
Especially for people with autism, work brings also structure in life.
After the work is done there should be plenty of time for social things.
The part of my life which shows me being at home doing my own things is one of the biggest differences between a 'normal' life and the life with autism.
Often I do not mind being busy with my own things at night. But when the day ends, and the television is just a black hole I realise how different this is.
It's not the feeling of loneliness. It's just a thought on how much I socially could have grown that evening if there had been anyone around. It's just a thought for some seconds. Then I realise the radio has been telling me lots of things and the grass is not always greener on the other side. The silence gives me rest, needed to recover from work. And I imagine there are millions of people like me, having autism or not, just living their daily life being alone. It's good to think about autism, but it can be dangerous to make thoughts too heavy. That's no good and might end up in creating an autism prisoners life, there is no reason for that.
As I can see at the stats of my weblog, many people are interested in the Free Download 25 x Strong Points of Autism Posters. The posters are very succesfull in The Netherlands; the export of this Dutch Product is going well ;-)
This blogpost shows:
1. Original 25 Strong Points of Pupils with Autism Poster (blue) Dutch Version
2. Unofficial English Translation Pupils Poster (blue)
3. Original 25 Strong Points of Teachers with Autism Poster (yellow)
Unfortunately both the Teachers/Pupils Posters have been only made in Dutch, there is no official English translation available. Well, I tried to make a good translation of the Pupils poster.
Click on title of this blogpost to be linked to the orginal download site for both posters.
As the financial problems of my care givers organization do bothers me deeply, I deciced to make a videoblog about it. This will be online this Thursday.
1. DUTCH VERSION 25 x Strong Points Pupils with Autism:
(ORIGINAL, CLICK ON BLOG TITLE TO BE LINKED TO PDF DOWNLOAD)
2. UNOFFICIAL ENGLISH VERSION 25 X Strong Points of Pupils with Autism:
3. 25 X STRONG POINTS OF TEACHERS WITH AUTISM POSTER: (ORIGINAL, CLICK ON BLOGPOST TITLE TO BE FORWARDED TO PDF DOWNLOAD SITE)
ENJOY!
As people with autism have the tendency to eat the same meal over and over again, let me introduce to you the meat replacemet eat at least twice a week:Quorn. I used to eat the tomato and mozzarella schnitzel (on the right) but for some unknown and unannounced reason the supermarket does not sell them anymore. They were very popular, I am absolutely sure of. Anyway, I now eat the 'normal' schnitzel thing (show below)
For more information see the website: Click on the title of this blogpost to be forwarded.
Nothing much more to tell you. Fed up with things. The caregivers organization from which I get support is in deep financial trouble. This evening I saw an thrilling inside documentary about THEIR (former) powerful man earning far too much money and being able to let 23 millions of Euro's disappear into ....nothing. Prestigious building projects such as hotels and castles were bought with money meant for care...Feel like crying now. And ofcourse those man left the company without a single feeling of guilt. More about that tomorrow. For now, this has cost me already enough brainfood for now :-(((
Today I once again had the pleasure of being able to see The Girl With The Pearl Earring by Johannes Vermeer in real at the Mauritshuis.
Art is something which touches me deeply. Is that something familiair with autism?
Well of course I know there are millions of people loving art.
I had a great day out and The Hague is so beautiful. There is just so much too see.
As I am fascinated with autism worldwide I did some surfing around. And, however countries and cultures may vary, there are (naturally) some common remarks families with a child with autism deal with worldwide, for instance the worries from mothers on how to get the best care for their child. This is a story about the mother of Christopher, a child with autism. The Komo Centre for Understanding Autism was established in 2006 by Elizabeth Kaleeba, the parent of an autistic child.It is the first institution of its kind in Uganda.
The Centre is an education, care and support centre for children and families affected by autism in Uganda .
The US Centers for Disease Control estimates that autism affects between 2 and 6 individuals per thousand people. In Uganda, with a population of about 28 million, this would mean that between 56,000 and 168,000 people have some form of autism.
On her website (Click on the title of this blogpost to see it) Elisabeth tells:...
The need to establish the Komo Centre grew out of my family’s efforts to meet the needs of our son Christopher, who was diagnosed with autism at the age of 4. At eight, when the Komo Centre opened, Christopher did not speak any recognizable language, had obsessive behaviour and was prone to wandering off and getting lost, He had managed quite well at the kindergarten school which was small and carefully controlled, but he had outgrown it and the other children. There are no primary schools in Uganda which would offer him the learning environment he needed, especially given his tendency to wander off.
In trying to understand Christopher’s needs we began to seek out other families with similar problems. We rapidly came to the realization that there a growing number of (mainly young) families with autistic children, but very few people have information on the condition.
While there is growing recognition of this condition in the developed world, there it is hardly understood in countries like our own Uganda. Facilities and services for children with special needs are inadequate and are generalised, mixing children with diverse disorders and further hindering development for autistic children.
At one such institution which I visited recently, it was obvious that the staff and administration had not heard about autism. This further enhanced the feeling I had that we as affected families would have to mobilize our collective experience and develop this resource centre for our children.
The Komo Centre offers Christopher and others like him an opportunity to develop his potential in a controlled environment. It also serves as a resource for families of autistic children to gain further understanding of the condition, share ideas, and offer each other mutual support and encouragement.
The Centre is an education, care and support centre for children and families affected by autism in Uganda. We offer the following services:
● Education tailored to the needs of autistic children aged 4-13 years
● Recreational services for autistic children
● Respite and counselling services to the parents and siblings of autistic children.
● Resource centre for parents of autistic children and the community, providing information on autism and special needs education
● Advocacy to the general public, and in particular to health and education professionals, in order to enhance understanding of the condition of autism.
Autism affects an estimated percent of families, yet in this part of the world it is largely unrecognised and rarely discussed. The Komo Centre is dedicated to changing this situation by providing a community-based model for helping autistic children reach their full potential, and by providing information and advocacy in support of their families.
Things will not improve for children like Christopher or their families without mutual support. The more we parents and other family members meet each other, the more we talk about the challenges that face us – and about the joy that our very special children give us! – the greater our ability to create or demand the services we need.
Please get in touch (see the Contacts page) if you are looking for such services, or can help in providing them or if you have some relevant experience to share.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Najjemba Kaleeba
One of the main prejudices about people with autism is : they do not want or appreciate contact with other people. That is not true. In fact people with autism have developed precious ways to cope with daily stress. As one might think: the slow life attitude of people with autism may be a benefit for all.
Most people do like social intervention with others. Sharing thoughts, idea's might inspire and make people feel relaxed. However often not that visible, people with autism can feel relaxed by social contact too, especially when the social setting and company accomplishes the needs due to autism.
We live in a hectic world. Like a desert desperately begging for water, today’s world seem to be begging for slow life. People are desperately trying to find a way to make life less speedy. Imagine the thousands kind of therapy’s, self help books and spiritual guides to help. The journey leading to inner peace is a very intimate one as requests vary from person to person. This so called process of living life slowly was rediscovered some years ago (I guess it has always been there, specially in alternative living social classes) In order to stay calm in a crazy world people with autism have developed, adopted some kinds of the lifestyles. In my opinion the gap between slow life and the autism lifestyle is not that big.
If you do not live in the here and now, life can feel like a train passing by without being on board. Do not let autism prevent you from having a good life!
When I look back on the years having lived without knowing about my autism, it is easy to remember the darkness of that time. I felt so alone, being misunderstood and neglected. Hidden in my world, struggling with many fears and unsolved questions about myself.
Thinking about the future there is a new horizon in my imagination. After having accepted my Aspergers and been through some dark times dealing with the depression the diagnosis which came with it, I now seem to realise this is my luggage in life.
OK, this is it. I pack my things and travel towards a new future.
Between the past and the future there is the NOW. The Power of Now is very important. Yes, sometimes autism sucks, but there are so many things that can be enjoyed with autism. Don't let the fear and dark times take over your courage to open the door to the world. Remember that each day has a value for your life, although that value might be sometimes a hidden one.
The future is Now!
This video shows a Dutch TV presentor Anita Witzier, Her show is about the news behind small online adverts. Anita has read the advert in which a female driver is requested for Pieter Dekker, a 24 year old Dutch man with PDD-NOS. Peter requets a female driver to drive him Every Friday to the nearby McDrive restaurant. Till recently Pieter went there with his support worker, Dianne Vos. For some unknown reason this might have stopped. Anita picks Pieter up at his own home and goes with him to the Mc Drive. The video is in Dutch but body language is international.
This week the definite results of the Disability Insurance Act Examination was received. No surprise for me. The doctor told me then (January 22th) similar things: as there seems to be no improvement in my situation the unfit for employment percentage remains 80-100%. Considered the economic crisis I am very happy with this result for the time being.
However a small amount of pain remains. 3 Years ago I had my very first Disabilty Insurance Act Examination at the end of my burn out period. Perhaps I was expecting too much, but it would have been so nice to be able to leave the governments payment behind me in 2009, and stand on my own feet again, financially spoken.
It is just the way it is. This is it. No need to complain as many people are in much more trouble. And with several hours of voluntary work during the week and the household things which need to be done, there is few time to actually feel unfit for work. The voluntary work gives a very pleasant routine in my life. If you loose your job, I can recommend voluntary work as a day activity.
A few years ago the government decided a (mobile) phone trade liberalization would be necessary. Customers would have more choice.
Now we can choose between providers. Soon my mobile phone membership ends and now I have to find a new phone subscription. There are attractive deals which include a new phobile phone number for free. And you can have internet on your mobile phone too, that sounds nice :-). And how much do I want to spent on a mobile phone?
An autism friendly thing like Navigation might be a good idea to prevent me getting lost. Questions questions questions. Sigh. This drives me quite mad.
My coach and I have been looking online for the best offer, but we seem to get a bit lost. The bid is just far too much. I wonder if it would be a wise idea to suggest the Dutch Autism Society to ask some providers to make an autism friendly offer.
I know people without autism have trouble dealing with this. Imagine my sensory overload. UHH...
From Wikipedia:
Mastication or chewing is the process by which food is crushed and ground by teeth. It is the first step of digestion and it increases the surface area of foods to allow more efficient break down by enzymes. During the mastication process, the food is positioned between the teeth for grinding by the cheek and tongue. As chewing continues, the food is made softer and warmer, and the enzymes in saliva begin to break down carbohydrates in the food. After chewing, the food (now called a bolus) is swallowed. It enters the esophagus and continues on to the stomach, where the next step of digestion occurs.
Mastication is a repetitive sequence of jaw opening and closing with a profile in the vertical plane called the chewing cycle. Mastication consists of a number of chewing cycles. The human chewing cycle consists of three phases
1. Opening phase: the mouth is opened and the mandible is depressed.
2. Closing phase: the mandible is raised towards the maxilla.
3. Occlusal or intercuspal phase: the mandible is stationary and the teeth from both upper and lower arches approximate
Have you ever considered the Chewing Process??
For many people with autism chewing is not just:
1. open your mouth
2. put the food in your mouth and close it
3. make the food smaller using your teeth and afterwards swallow it
The Chewing Process can turn out to be a struggle. Meals can become drama's. In times of stress the chewing process might be easily disturbed. I have spent countless hours chewing sitting at tables at home, in restaurants, café’s, in the park, at the train, at other peoples homes etc. Minutes of enjoying food became quarters slowly turning into (half an) hours just chewing. My mouth was full of food, my mind too busy handling other matters.
Once the chewing process is disturbed it can be very hard to enjoy eating. With major problems of chewing cause many extra trouble. The social aspect of eating is gone. No one likes the company of someone with filled cheeks. The struggle with food is not a pleasant matter to watch.
The things below might help on problems with chewing:
1. Accept the fact chewing might be a problem.
2. Keep it simple. After having long life bad experiences with chewing food I discovered that the sensory overload thing is a major cause of those problems. The solution: keep it simple
3. Use small portions of food, and eat food you like. Cut the food in smaller parts and do not load all of it at your dish at once. I prefer small plates with small amounts of food simply because it looks better. It gives me the suggestion I have control.
4. Create rituals in the way to eat your food. Those rituals may give you structure and rest.
5. Try to imagine what food tastes like when you buy it, this might prevent you from buying food you do not like to chew.
6. Take time to eat tell others you have problems when eating in company of others.
7. Know that the size of your food is small comparing to the size of your body. This is very important to realise. This may take away fear. Use your imagination. A mirror can be very helpful to concentrate on the eating process. It also can make very clear how small actually your food is compared to your own body. When there is no mirror available I learned to concentrate on a certain spot at a wall in the room and to imagine a film/pictures of me eating my meal in a normal way.
8.Challenge your mind. Before you start your meal one could start an imaginative converstation in your mind on the pro’s and contra’s of chewing and swallowing. For me this was the only way to break through my fears and dark thoughs on chewing and food. This was not easy to do so, quiet a struggle, but worth it. A real challenge to allow myself to eat this food. Over and over again ‘ my mind had to convince my mouth ‘ food was good. When chewing takes too long one can get strucked in this repetitive movement/thougts. That’s is no good.
9. Seek distraction. My parents watched this being strucked process many many times and told me I just stared in the distance and forgot about food at all. After a while my mum discoverd that distraction was very important to keep me chewing. My mum told dozens of stories just to keep me chewing my food and keeping my thoughts in this world, instead of turning into my own imagination.
9. Make a time schedule. Decide how much time is reseverd for the complete meal. I myself reseve approx 1.5 hours for a meal. Use an alarm clock to see if time is over. When there is food left, I put it in the fridge for the next meal later on.
10. Just enjoy life. Be happy, forget worries! All will be OK in the end I am sure.
In a crowded restaurant I joined some others at an activity organised by the singles society I am member of .This afternoon we enjoyed an so called High Tea arrangement. The food was delicious and the people whom I had never met before, were ok.
There was just one thing what bothers me. Because travel between the restaurant and my home addres v.v. takes very long I had taken my Tupperware lunchbox with me.
During the high tea it was clear the amount of food was too much for us. So I considered taking some food with me in my Tupperware lunchbox, like a doggy bag thing. I choose the wrong moment to fill my lunchbox with things. Not in the end which would have been more appropriate I guess. I was so clumsy to fill this thing while everybody was enjoying the food. AAAHH I felt so clumsy and so autistic when I did it. Not to mention it was quite greedy of me taking away food at that time. Did not mention my autism. My companions did not mention it, but the sound of embarassing silence was so clear AHHH...
On the way home the food was even more delicious.
During adulthood the differences between people with and without autism do become very clear. This is a statement from the book I am currently reading “Life with Autism” written by the author of “A Strange World” Martine F.Delfos and Marijke Gottmer, psychologist working daily with people with autism.
From what I experience being an adult with (recently diagnosed) autism is the view of a different horizon thinking about my future . In my environment it’s is very obvious how big the gap between Life of Life (life with Autism) can be. I see young people starting and succeeding in jobs, getting careers, falling in love, starting a family. Their growth continues. The gap between the world and me, being confused and not able to come up for my own rights and needs makes reality not always easy.
Knowing the tasks to full fill in my present stage of life are different from others makes it not easy so see answers immediately to the riddle of life. There must be a new horizon for me, it is just different. Being different, there seems to be no escape. Like a life long 24/7 shift
As I try to stay positive it is my opinion there should be similar chances in life for me too, although it may be just a little later than normal. The book “Life with Autism” describes the adulthood stage of life as the stage of life used by people with autism to full full the task of letting go. Separate from parents and seek the borders of independency. We need to go and travel on the path of life on our own.
It’s just like standing on endless road watching the cars passing by. I find it hard to deal with sometimes. When the autism victim mood button has been switched on again, this feeling sorry for myself can last a long time. The road ahead is empty. Or perhaps I should say, the path of life leading towards my near future is full of hidden treasures, unexpected growth and company and freedom.
I found this very interesting website with lots of free downloadable pictograms in several languages. Click on the title of this blogpost to see.
This was my day today, shown in the reverse way!
While surfing I found a blogpost from 2007 about this film project. The film has been released recently. Click on the title of this post to be linked to the page where a beautiful trailer can be seen. The film is about a mother searching for answers about her son's autism. This trailer is in English. I found it very intersting.
It’s been a while since ICeland’s first and only Oscar nominated feature director Fridrik Thor Fridriksson released a film, his last being Niceland in 2004. Since then he’s been producing mostly, titles like Guy X, Beowulf and Grendel and most recently Baltasar Kormakur’s Reykjavik Rotterdam.
...The problem is that despite our medical knowledge we are not really sure what causes autism or how to treat it. There are different schools of thought on this subject but this film focuses on how to get in touch with the persons trapped inside their bodies...
Autism and Narcism is said to be related. Yesterday I found this website.
I think it is interesting. Click on the Title of this Blogpost, just type the url of your weblog and wait. Enjoy!
How narcissistic is your blog?
The Web 2.0 makes people narcissistic, which is not only the results of two significant American studies, the blogosphere itself exerts cognitive self-criticism. "First Ego, then we" is now the dubious slogan of most bloggers, says German A-blogger Robert Basic. A question arises: What remains when the democratic moment of the Social Web and the haze around the blogosphere are blinded out... next to some economically motivated exploitation practices, probably a vast accumulation of trivialities and self-presentation. Its social value remains hidden. The blogosphere, the reconquest of the Web, the sublimated form of the networked proletariat, a web whose maxims are based on democratic and altruistic premises is converting its users to vain narcissists? Garden of Hybris addresses that less notable downside of the Web 2.0-medal and checks a blog's narcissism factor. According to the classical Web 2.0 look&feel the simple question is: How narcissistic is your blog?
Just enter the url of your blog into the mask, click Start and watch your personal Garden of Hybris grow.
How does Garden of Hybris operate?
Garden of Hybris aggregates, categorizes and visualizes. Narcissistic elements like certain pronouns and verb-combinations from your latest blog content will be filtered out, parametrized and visualized in a further process. No blog is equal, no blogger writes equally. So for each blog an individual floral see will be created. Once it is overgrown and richly coloured and some other time it is barren and sallow. The larger and the more coloured the Garden of Hybris, the more narcissistic the blog. The Garden of Hybris thrives with the blog. New entries and changes can make it either flourish or fade. The message is hidden behind any flower and can be interactively discovered.
Narkissos, condemned with unslakable self-love, falls in love with his mirror image in a water source, tries in vain to grab and embrace his reflection and finally dies in despair. Out of his blood a narcissus (daffodil) arises.
I wonder why people with autism seem to forget about food.
Here are my reasons and some solutions. Your suggestions are welcome.
1. Too Busy doing someting else, such as computing. An alarm clock is my help. However, I sometimes forget about the alarm sound too -((
When visitors come over to my home, I always ask them what they want to drink, but their company is so overwhelming I simply forget to make their wish come true. It so odd I just stay and sit on the sofa doing other things.
Solution: make your guests clear upon arrival that you have a tendency to forget these matters. Just ask them to make clear there and ask them please to mention it directly. No one likes to get or to serve cold coffee!
2. When I am not at home, I find it hard to eat in a strange environment, and thoughs about food seem far away because there are too many other things to pay attention to. Solution: take always a filled lunchbox with you. If you have to eat something, make sure you order someting light you are absolutely sure you can handle at that certain moment. Tell your company about your hesitation to eat. It might also be an idea to create some minutes of rest before you actually eat. I use the time between ordering and delivery of food to take some minutes for myself.
3. I did not take my prepared beverages with me while on the road, I do not wanna buy something strange, I'll just wait till I am home and eat my meals afterwards.
4. There is simply no room for the eating process, too many sensory overloads.
Respect this and make it easy on yourself. Buy food for the time afterwards to avoid a meltdown.
It's a big adventure planning a trip. Done this many times myself, still it's just big surprise what the destination of my trip will be. Like many things it seems the most important thing to find out is WHAT the goal is and what I do want to invest in order to reach my aim. There is nothing to be afraid of I guess. Perhaps it's just the freedom of choice I have to choose an destination which makes me feel strange.
About the Where to stay Choice the Big city offers: many many people, noisy, but lots of attractions, restaurants and public transport. Just to be in the middle of the crowd and watch the people passing by might be very relaxing. Being solo on a beach can be very boring when in the middle of families and couples. The singles travel industry might just want to make money and is a flirt what I want? It's too easy to rely completely on a touroperator I think. So I create my own trip with the help of the gorgeous internet.
Another question coming up when thinking about this soon to take place trip is: Do I want company? Do I actually need company ? I have been travelling with groups for years and however I enjoyed the other people's company, fun and interesting talks, I have always felt a stranger. It takes time to learn how to handle the people, the unspoken rules of a new group, and the amount of stress they bring with them while on the road.
Autism may limited life and travel for some issues. On the other hand the preference and the ability to be on one's own may be a pre when speaking on travelling solo. If you make a kind of day schedule this may give a more pleasant feeling. In big cities I sometimes feel confused when I stay at my hotelroom beause there are so many interesting sights to be seen.
A day schedule could look like this:
breakfast,
museum,
lunch in the park,
attraction 2,
read a book while having coffee somewhere
have dinner somewhere,
go to the cinema or stay at the hotel,
There are so many possibiliies where to stay. There are many people traveling alone, there is always someone around willing to help you I know.
Some surfing to do on the internet.
While I watch another tv discussion program on Integration of Foreigners in our society I can not help to get annoyed by this subject. I wish there was an equal amount of money and media attentions spent on autism matters. In my homecountry The Netherlands one of the main issues in general and political discussions is about how to deal with Integration of Foreigners Issues.
There are many foreign employees working here. They were asked to come here and do our dirty jobs during the sixties and seventies. They contributed not only in the our prosperity but have also created a culture of their own. Many people from Turkey and Maroc, especially elder man and imported brides- do only speak their own language. For years the foreigners could, due to our policy, just live their own life in our country. The general tendency of Dutch politics was we should treat the immigrants very well. An incredible amount of government money has been spent on programs of how to help the derailed generations of immigrants.
I do not mean to offend anyone here, and I respect the immigrants for their culture and values. My point is that the Immigrants seem to have become 'a national cuddle toy' while people with disabilities are neglected and treaten unrespectful. This can make me so angry, I mean, we, the people with a disabilty who were born in this country and do our utmost to integate in society. Sometimes it seems there is a kind of competition about who get most general attention and support between people with disabilities and immigrants.
I know in politics you get much more attention talking about immigrants then when you speak of e.g. autism. I wonder if this has anyting to do with the uncomfortable feeling people get when you mention disabilities too. I realise the impact of foreign cultures of e.g. islam is much bigger than the effect autism has on society. Maybe I put two issues together which should not be compared in this way to one another. Tell me what you think.
Rainy days and no sun do feed my wish go somewhere sunny. Getting away from it all.
Just fly away (or rail away) and see what will happen.
It has been y e a r s since my last real holiday. The main question is now, Where to go and What kind of trip is should be. I think I will enjoy my own company, but travel with someone else there might be more fun.
My autism limits the wish just to pack my bags and go with the flow. Security once more asks for detailed plans.
Wintersport, citytrip, warm sunny resort. Tips where to stay in winter are welcome.
For many people with a sort of autism structure is very important.
Although it can be difficult to find or to keep a job having autism, autism doest not automatically mean a jobless life is ahead of you.
The bleak economy and the many NT-jobseekers might make someone with a disability as autism can be seen, feel like they're up against the world -- or at least millions of other people, but even with these tough times, things will get better and you will survive, I am sure.
Here's how you can make the most of your unemployment:No one can dispute that the absence of a job and a corresponding income stream is a potentially alarming scenario. Please allow yourself to firmly believe that your current joblessness is merely a glitch in your abiding life expedition and your new outlook will noticeably brighten.
Being jobless throws a lot of people into a schedule-free day. As structure is considered to be necessary for many people with autism, it can be hard to handle the amount of empty hours during the day being jobless. Structure is what you need most at this point to not only feel professional, but not fall into a cycle of self-pity.
Make a day schedule on what you want to do each day. This can give something to hold on to and help you to get through the empty days. If you make a schedule on the things you would like to do each day, you can reward yourself for having done these things at the end of the day. This might increase your self confidence as well as a schedule can make each day slightly difference from other days too. Get up in time. Don’t loose your normal day- and nighttimes
Days being home jobless can soon become feel like a vacation. Vacation is sometimes needed. However if you stay too long being inactive at home, the gap between the working society and your own life may become too big.
Make good use of your time. With eight extra hours in your day and not much coming up in your job search, there are countless things you can do to improve yourself, personally and professionally. Here are some ideas:
Take care of logistics. Make absolutely sure your albeit necessary issues are taken care of. If you need help with this arrange help by asking someone. Sort out your papers. Before anything else resolve severance concerns, figure out your health-care coverage and assess your financial situation.
Reassess your life. Joblessness allows you to reconsider your work situation, as well as other aspects of your life. Ironically, unemployment also provides time to truly get it right in terms of work/life balance. There are no more excuses for avoiding an exercise routine or getting enough sleep. Such positive lifestyle habits have a positive impact on your job search as well on your personal wellbeing. Make yourself available for a learning opportunity.
Go and do something, anything, especially something new or something you've not had time to do in the past. This will activate your brain and creates a new horizon, brings in new people and improves morale and overall well-being In my opinion one shouldn’t treat your unemployment as a vacation. In my opinion being jobless gives the opportunity to gain a lot of knowledge about skills that you might need in future.
Re-invent yourself. Reinvention is simply re-examining yourself, taking what you've learned over time and evaluating what makes you tick. Reconnect with what gets you excited. Once you have figured out what your passions are, match them to your skills and experience you have gained over the years. This will help you determine what jobs best utilize your strengths and which choices are most suitable for you.
Do allow yourself to feel sad about being jobless. It can be hard for motivate yourself all day to live on the max, knowing you might have problems finding work due to the present economical crisis. Job loss is devastating. It is, after the death of someone close to you and divorce, one of the biggest losses you suffer. Not only have no job, you've lost routine, money, pride and perhaps most importantly, a sense of purpose. Understandably, a little moping is allowed, A period of bad daytime TV and junk food is about right; then it's time to dust off and find some balance.
In the big picture, it's critical that you don't utilize your flexible time circumstances to procure a coach potato license. You've got to be active -- both physically and mentally -- to apply your ample free time to the best of your advantage.
Don't limit yourself. If you can't get a job in the industry you want, find a creative way to be a provider -- not just a worker -- in the industry you're interested in. Don't limit yourself to finding a job in the industry you've worked in for the past 15 or 20 years. A layoff is a good time to look at what really matters to you, what you love to do or what you've always wanted to try.
Set up a buddy system. Find a friend, former colleague or a neighbor-someone with a positive attitude that you can chat with regularly to keep you going.
Take a class. Is there a skill that you lack or that might have previously held you back from advancement opportunities? In your free time, take a class that leads to professional credentials or technical proficiencies is an easy way to beef up your résumé and make yourself more marketable.
Volunteer. Eighty-one percent of employers view volunteering as relevant work experience, Volunteering gives people a sense of purpose and empowerment, which is critical to the self-esteem of job hunters who feel powerless after weeks or months of a fruitless job search.
Volunteering gives job hunters the opportunity to meet decision-makers in their community to which they wouldn't otherwise have access, Decision-makers get to see the job seeker in action, which helps them envision working with that person full time.
Autism and Letting go
Autism is said to be related with the difficulty of letting go on things. Changes mean disharmony. The predictable suddenly becomes insecurity. It’s hard to explain that changes are felt so intense. It’s like it touches my nerves, like toothache. It's such a struggle. Small matters become Big Things.
When you close a door, take a decision or leave the known path it is not always clear what the new horizon might bring. People may just exit your world. Everyone has to walk the path of life themselves. Have faith and the future will be yours. Which destiny do we have? All those questions come up these days. There seem to be many changes in my environment.
Letting go is so hard for me, even when people are just clouds in the sky or ships that can not be boarded on the sea of life. Sometimes I consider those people to be a part of safety. In order to control my fears on some unsecure part of my life I hold on to them. Strange, they can not help me and they have nothing to do with it. And you know what? It does not help, the pain becomes even more.
The first way to find ways to heal my own pain is to respect my extra confusion due to my autism. It is just there. Part of the way I am. Just close the door, time will be gently and make pain go away. Do allow yourself to heal. That is the best medicine I think.
For many people with autism cooking is just one of those matters which can be difficult. The number of things needed to do at the same time makes cooking complicated. Making a schedule can help you.
Worldwide there seems to be a majority of people who mean that one should eat a different meal each day, however many people in poor countries can not obey this unspoken rule. So why should you eat each day a different meal. I think the suggestion to use a diversity of meals was created by the food industry in order to get more business.
As long as you make shure you get needed amount of food and vitamins daily there is in my opinion nothing wrong about eating the same food for days, weeks, months. If you know anothere reason let me know.
In my opinion there are many reasons to make a major issue of food, cooking etc, despite there seems to be no natural interest in food by people with autism. That’s because eating food is supposed to be a social thing. If you are able to prepare just a little meal then you have a small chit chat thing to talk about. People are often very flattered if you ask them how they prepare things. These days in Europe there are lots of tv programs with people all wanting to be at least the Jamie Olivier of their neighborhood.
If you think about the food you want to eat that day, then you should first have an idea about the amount of money you are able to spend on grocery, the amount of time you have to do shopping, prepare and eating you food and the way you will cook and conserve the food you do not eat instantly.
My own idea of how to decide what to eat is to close my eyes and think about the taste of several products used throughout the day. In my kitchen there is a shopping list with the names of the vegetables by seasons of growth on it. You can find such things on the internet, the government uses to have special recommendations on the amount of food one should eat a day.
There is a lot of information available on the internet, by google. Do not forget the websites of the food producers too.
10 tips to help you with cooking issues for people with autism
1. Make schedules of how to shop, prepare, conserve and eating food.
Try to work step by step
2. Be aware of sensory overload while thinking about shopping, cooking and so on
Take time between the several steps
Try to cook for more days at once
3. Make things easy on yourself
All cooks have started boiling an egg before they made bigger meals
It’s your food so eat what you like
4.Clean your kitchen equipment before you go for shopping, check the fridge to find out what you've got.
Make a shopping list
Eat before you shop, it saves you money
6. It is all right to eat the same for a while as long as you get your daily dose of vitamins.
As long as you make shure you get needed amount of food and vitamins daily there is in my opinion nothing strange about eating the same for days, weeks, months. If you know anothere reason let me know.
7. Write down one day the amount of food you eat, there you are, you got at least one daily eating schedule
8 Take time to shop, read the ingredients needed on the packings. If you read the users manual before you buy it, you are not likely to forget about other ingredients needed for this meal.
9. Eat in the way which is most convenient to you. Do not rush. Just sit down and relax. Take a break between cooking and eating.
10. If you can affort it buy a small dishwasher, this is a great support for me. It helps me get organized.
Here is some of my art work. Enjoy!
The works were made with cranyon.
They are all copyright protected. Nothing is to be published online or in any other way without my written permission!
It's the gap
between you and me
that will let me see
I am different
You will cross
the bridge
to enter my world
I know
Thank you
Autism is truly a hate and love thing in my opinion. It's bittersweet. Friends travelling together, talking and understanding one another, lovers holding one another, there is so much to see at a railway station on human emotions. It made me feel kind of isolated. Watching the crowd while my heart is willing to join the people. My mind is to far away from their daily life. It's quite obvious at such mo moments I hate autism.
While typing this blog post, I just enjoy being far away from the crowd, I am hidden in my bed using my laptop top. I love my autism now.
Let me first of all tell you I am SOOOO Proud of being 3rd on the Worldless Wednesday Comptetition by DJ!! Yes! Congratulations to number 1 and 2!
This made my day! Thank you DJ and Col (and all the best on your operation!)
The map below shows my blog readers!
It is amazing to be able to see on a world map that this blog is visited and read too by people from so many countries!!!! A lot of readers come from the U.S.A. (Hi there!) and many visitors live in Europe and even in Australia people know me! (Goodday Mate!)
And what about Pakistan, Indonesia, they know my blog there!!!
How nice! 
The features of a (free) www.statcounter.com account(which include:
Statistics, Summary, Popular Pages, Entry Pages, Exit Pages, Came From, Keyword Analysis, Recent Keyword Activity, Recent Came From, Search Engine Wars, Visitor Paths, Visit Length, Returning Visits, Recent Pageload Activity, Recent Visitor Activity, Recent Visitor Map, Country/State/City/ISP...), These figures all give much information. Once again it is clear there have been made many world wide connections throughout this Autism Hub!! Thank you all involved on the operation of this hub!!
While looking at the world map it is also once more made clear that certain area's in the world have less acces to the internet. E.g. Africa and South America. Ofcouse there are people with autism everywhere, even there. What do we know so far about Autism in e.g. Uganda, Paraguay, Sierra Leone, Chad, Algeria, Peru??
People with autism worldwide might have some remarks in common, but the way different cultures deal with autism may vary very much from continent to continent. I wonder if in islamic based countries the part of wanting to be much on one's own is likely to less accepted due to their culture? I got somehow a kind of impression this might be true during my visits to Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Israel.
And the African way of living and autism? It just keeps fascinating me.
The autism-hub has proved to be a another example of a communication tool connecting people worldwide. I just keep on blogging here till I see my blog is read in all continents worldwide. Would you like to join me? ;-)
Welcome to my website. You are most welcome to read blogs about my life here.
I try to write about what life can be like having Aspergers.
If you miss something what you would like to know about Aspergers, do'n t hesitate to contact me. I will get back to you as soon as possible.
It's now nearly 11.00 o clock a.m. Dutch Time.
The video-blog will be uploaded somewhere around 21.00 hours p.m.
Thank you for your visit!
All the best
Aspie Bird
Roger Meyers work guide keeps surprising me. :-)
He describes in an unique way about employment and autism. I won’t recall the contents of the whole book here. I recommend the book to you of all. It is truly worth an investment. One of the main statements of Meyer in his book is that you, being a person with ASS should first of all be the boss of your own work future. Do not let others take over things that you might be able to do yourself.
Thinking about the future, Meyer says, can not be done sufficiently without thinking about where you have been. The doors of the past may not always close when entering the future. In fact that door might have showed you the way to where you stand today. The future can be reached by opening the door in order to make a good planning. A good planning is very useful to make a good fundament for a work career future.
The base of a good plan is the trust that the materials are sufficient. Speaking about the material people with autism naturally own, we can say we have many unique skills and talents already to built that bright fundament called future.
If we speak about the doors of the future, it might be useful to consider which paths led towards that very door. The future of that time , these present days, the soon to be past.
The building of a new home may need help from others. Seek those people carefully as you may have to design your own home together and have to be reliable of them for at least some kind of way during some time. You can find people willing to assist you on making a work career building plan, among agencies and (commercial) employment offices specially set up for with autism.
Always remember, You are the only one able to decide how much ASS-space you must reserve for your special ASS-needs in the workplace (and in fact during your entire life) (you can see the severe needs as rooms of your unique home).
Ever since I entered the small world of autism some years ago, I have met many salesman of companies within the ASS-Job Seeking business who were very willing to help me. Others are absolutely needed in order to get somewhere. Among the agencies and organizations set up to help ASS people, there are many trustworthy professionals acting in a good way! Don’t let your ASS voice be taken over by those $Salesman willing to take over your own responsibility. They rate oneself with people with ASS. That is in my opinion wrong. A person with ASS is able to speak for themselves!!
But don’t throw those people away too soon, they can be useful some day. My challenge is to use the contacts I have made so far in life in order to create a network. Networking is not always easy. If you realise every contact is a potential assistant on your way to a new future there is nothing to be afraid of.. Every contact, even a worse contact, might be considered as a card on your rolodex to use as networking tool!
Yesterday our government announced new figures about our economy. Those figures were even worse then those published December 2008. It is to be expected now that in 2010 probably 9 percent of the Dutch population will have no job. Considering these depressing facts I do not expect there will be not much hope left to get a job in the near future as companies do have to fire many many, regular employees now. Simply said: companies have more to think of now then to hire a disabled person…
Because of my disabled act payment there will be probably less consequences for myself. My plan is to use these economic sad times to increase my amount of knowledge and skills. And to make a good plan on how to built a good fundament for my career plans.
Although the job interview went well yesterday, the people of the hospital called to say I did not get the job. One of the reasons was that the job might have been too easy for me. Just what I thought during the job interview. For some, understandable, reasons the human resouces department never is my favourite cup of tea. I wonder if this will ever change.
With the arrival of spring in the air, it finally seems time to get serious about moving. Yes, I have been bothering you lots of times too with stories on how much I missed the big city. But what to choose if you have all the freedom you want. I mean, I have no obligation whatshowever to stay here. I might even, if I want to, move to e.g. Canada.
Something with supported living, but not 24/7 day care. Where to find the thing I need. I might just surf around, perhaps ideas will come up.
What more to tell you. Lots of stuff to share with you on autism. That will follow later.
For now, bye and see you tomorrow!
Much has been pubished about autism and special diets. This is far beyond my knowledge. I will leave it for now to professionals. Today’s blog will focus on the eatern pattern of someone with autism. I was raised in a time where (my) acknowledgement on autism was not revelead and we did not how to deal with my disturbed eating pattern.
Eat pattern. A word which reminds the daily struggle to eat of the past. In order to get me eat something my mum tried everything. She must have spent days sitting beside my dish. However she tried the only food eaten by me was spinach, chocolate mousse and cookies and bread. With my head full of everyting but the will to eat for me there was nothing more I could do while having dinner than to sit and stare around. It was just too busy for me to eat with others.
Perhaps it would have been better if there had been more moments of being on my own between the arrival from school or other activities and the start of dinner. We did not know then. Dinner was always a surprise and often turned out to be a long long chewing experience. Always chewing. But never swallowing my food. As usual a dish full was left.
My mum gave birth to me in a natural way. After a normal development, at the age of 9months a growth retardation. Even after a 2 month stay in the hospital it has never been revealed what the precize cause for this retardation was. This babygirl, who was the heaviest child of 3 children, gained step by step weight in the hospital. This results of the retardation however have marked my growing up very much.
For years I knew nothing about what the doctors tested during the months in hospital. Some years ago I had the briliant idea of trying to get more information on this at the former childrens hospital archive desk. It turned out that my baby file was 70 page full file!! It means a lot to me having a copy of this file at home now.
My eating pattern has been worse ever since for years. I was a skinny day dreaming girl, thin teenager and became a slim woman, feeling unhappy about her underweight. and aware of her primitive eating pattern.
A dish filled with food: vegetables, meat and some smooth stuff like apple sauce. Chewing food is difficult for me. Often this was related to my almost choking experience at the age of 5 years. It was on a childrens camp when I tried to eat a big marble. The fear of swallowing food and the fear of choking have put a giant mark on the way I feel about food in the past. I asked help for this uncommon problem. Few professionals were able to give good help. At present days it has become less. The problem has solved itself in a major way due to my attends to gain weight. The request of food send to me by my stomach, that signal becames stronger then the fear. Not to forget the importance of rest while eating. I learned never to eat when I feel cold!
Those fears on eating might also have been an unaware signal given by me to my enviroment to say STOP! Not chewing kan become power tool. 'Wait a minute, I am here too!' Being not able to eat properly in company is someting I even now bother with. Even in the presence of my parents it's hard to eat. When eating with others around me I feel trapped and that makes insecure.
Autists are to be said to have lack of hunger feeling. This has never been my experience. That very demanding hunger feeling was my company during years in the middle of the night causing insomnia. It is remarkable how much the hunger feeling and my mood swings are related. Very often I felt hungry but could not eat something because of the many things die bij involved with eating, like cooking, company by others, stress, the need to be social.
Changes in my eating habit occured after I got a burn out. Before that I was forced to get myself an eating pattern based on lots of irregular shifts. That was no good for me. During my recovery I learned to comfort my body again and not to ignore the cry for food given by my own body. For several years now I follow a special diet in order to gain weight. Eat lots of extra's between the meals. That is succesfull so far.
Eating together with others is no social need of mine. Dinners out are likely to be nice because of the company by others but are sources of meltdowns as well because the dinner will be the main obstacle for me. It was an very rewarding experience to be able to eat a whole meal. Although not easy has this increased my self confidence in a important way.
In times of stress one of the things that comforts me is to eat the same food every day. This can last for months. I know what it tastes, I do not have to decide what to eat. Vegetarian schnitzel, broccoli, mashed potatoes and salad with much goat cheese and pine-tree nuts. Hmmm, yummie.
This Valentine won't be forgotten too soon...
Valentines day 2009: no cards given, no dates, no calls, no social things to attend. One could say: a quiet day probably without social related stress..., but huh..what about this...?!!!
I will remember this years Valentine mostly because of my nervous breakdown in front of strangers sitting in my car parked in the middle of a small dike road....It was on a sunny saturday afternoon, imagine panoramic views of a typical Dutch landschape with modern windmills, dikes and meadows.
The day started calm and relaxed. In the afternoon I went on a shopping tour by car as I needed just my grocery stuff, a newspaper and 1 fertilizer for orchids as I got 6 of them and only 2 show flowers, the rest looks :-(((.
Did my shopping at the supermarket, asked the shop assistant to cut the family size broccoli into a small single lifestyle broccoli, said 'Hi' before I paid and 'Goodbye' afterwards to the cashier. Then I had a coming and going experience at a garden shop and a garden centre in order to get a fertilizer for my orchids.
At the garden shop the shop assistant showed similar stuff, but not that very fertilizer I needed, and did the suggestion probably a garden centre close by would sell that very thing I needed. After my way to garden centre, I asked the female shop assistant about the thing I n